Lanford Days Again
by CNJ
Summary: Roseanne It's been eight years since the series ended...what are the Conners, Harrises, and the Healys up to these days? See for yourselves as they go thru more changes, discoveries, & grow more.
1. Unpacking Discoveries

Hii, fellow _Roseanne_ fans! The _Roseanne_ gang is back for a re-union film and story, so here's the first chapter. I hope I get to update this story often, but I have a busy schedule, so I can't make promises of exact dates. I don't have Jerry be in this story and I leave out the whole boyfriend "switch" with Darlene and Becky. I decided I might as well start with chapter 1 here. 

_Disclaimer_: None of the characters that _Roseanne_ fans recognize belong to this author at all, they all belong to Roseanne and Carsey-Werner.

It's been eight years since the series ended and just what are the Conners, Harrises, and Healys been up to? Let's check it out and see in this re-union...enjoy!

**Lanford Days Again**

_By_: CNJ

_PG-13_

**1: Unpacking Discoveries**

**Roseanne:**

I haul the last box up to the third floor of my new condo five miles from 714 Delaware Street where I used to live and where my daughter Darlene now lives with her husband David and their three kids.

Entering the quiet one bedroom, I smile as I look around the bright, cheerful place. It's my first truly bold move since my beloved husband Dan died nine years ago and now my three kids...Becky, Darlene, and DJ have grown.

Now that it's just me, this condo is all I need to be happy. I put the box down and begin to unpack. There are lots of little treasures. Among one of the first boxes I open are hundred of photos of me and my younger sister, Jackie. Jackie lives close by here right in Lanford and we have always been close.

We both have the same straight dark hair and dark brown eyes. Until recently, I was much heavier than Jackie, who used to be very skinny. But she's finally put on some weight and isn't as nervous as she used to be. She's not exactly fat like me, but she's gotten heftier with middle age, especially in her butt, legs, stomach, face, and neck. I still think she's cute. She's also still as sensitive as the girl who couldn't tolerate sleeping over a pea.

I now am growing some gray hairs in my dark now long hair. Both Jackie and I have more wrinkles in as late middle ages creeps upon us.

We opened the Lunch Box diner thirteen years ago and since then, it has expanded and three years ago, we added an offspring, the Dinner Pail. It's now become a chain in the Midwest, especially in Illinois where we live.

I smile thinking how we started out...it was actually Jackie's idea; she is very creative and has lots of wacky ideas, many that actually work. You'll meet my sister later and know what I mean. Jackie, our other friend Nancy Bartlett, our mom, Bev, and I started off with a small diner hauling loose meat and making the burgers and other food ourselves and running the place ourselves. Leon Carp joined us and Mom retired, but we kept the place running and word got out and it became a booming business and we opened up more diners.

Now I write the ads, menus, and other business dealings regarding our business and Jackie does the artwork...designing the ads, the menus, and even design our trademark sign for both the Lunch Box and Dinner Pail business. She also has done a lot of the interior layout of the diners. Mom says she's finally using her head there. Mom has often been a case herself...you meet her later also, especially with the holidays coming up.

My cell phone rings and I jolt and fall over blurting out, "Life and Stuff" before I pick it up and see that it's Darlene.

"Hey, Mom, feel like joining us for last minute shopping?" Darlene asks.

"Sure..." I say. I can hear squabbling in the background, then a burp, which is not surprising, considering that Darlene and David have their hands full with three kids...Harris, who's now seven, almost eight, her brother, Danny, who's six, and their one-year-old daughter, Sara. They also own and run several comics and magazines. Darlene writes up the articles and storylines while David does the drawings and artwork. "What time's good for you?" I ask.

"Maybe around three at the mall entrance by Bed Bath and Beyond?" Darlene suggests. "Hey...Danny...Harris...quit tossing cheerios around the kitchen..." she tells her kids. "I got enough to do without refereeing a cheerios game." She comes back to me as I hear Harris squawk, "Danny did it first..."

"Hey, have you talked to DJ lately?" Darlene asks me.

"Not lately," I say. "Last time we talked two weeks ago, he said he had something to announce with him and Lian." Lian is DJ's longtime lover and they are having a baby in March.

"He'll probably call soon," Darlene tells me. "He says he and Lian are coming from Elgin and I invited them to stay at my house over Christmas...looks like he got another break in the photography."

"Remember when he used to go around with the camera and he wanted to film Harris' birth?" I say and we both laugh at the memory.

"Yeah, I remember...and he missed it since Harris came so early." I'll never forget Harris's premature birth. We all had been so frightened that she wouldn't make it...but by a graceful miracle, she did and is now a healthy little girl.

"I used to think DJ would be the next Steven Speilburg and be a film director," I add. "Look like Becky's in the field instead."

"I talked to Becky two nights ago," Darlene tells me. "Her latest film project is doing well. And she and Alicia are also coming for the holidays." Becky is divorced and has a daughter, Alicia, who is almost seven. It's a very good thing she went back and finished college and now has a good career since she is Alicia's sole support. "I know the kids will be happy to see Alicia again." I tell her a bit about the unpacking and about the pictures of Jackie and me. We laugh at several memories.

"That's Jackie, all right..." Darlene adds as we laugh again. "Hey, she says she and Andy are meeting us too, that all right?"

"Sure..." I say. Andy is Jackie's ten-year-old son. Jackie was married briefly, one year, but that marriage didn't work out and she and her ex, Fred split up and she's a single mom to Andy. Darlene and I finalize plans and hang up.

* * *

**Jackie:**

My alarm bleeps and I reach over with my fist and punch it off. I wish I could sleep in more, but I have five million things to do with Christmas almost here and I promised Roseanne and Darlene I'd meet them at the mall later on today and promised Andy I'd put up the holiday tree with him tonight. I rub my eyes for a long minute, trying to wake up.

"Mommmmmm..." I hear Andy's voice from somewhere in the kitchen.

"Mmmmmm..." is all I can manage as I roll out of bed and end up landing on the floor in a heap with my blanket coiled around my waist and leg. I slowly crawl up to a hopefully vertical position and pull the blanket off me and sleepily shuffle into the bathroom. My brown eyes are bleary with sleep and my dark hair is in fifty million directions. I comb it absently and gaze at the hair going into its chin-length place, then brush my teeth. I came more awake as I splash water over my face. Then I go back to my room and get dressed.

I look around and smile softly and ruefully remembering how I'd gotten this house that I now own and live in. I'd lived in an apartment before, then moved in with a boyfriend. The boyfriend...he'd been abusive and I'd left him with Roseanne's help and moved in with her and Dan and their three then-kids. It was a painful time in my life and I am still grateful to Roseanne and Dan for their support. Their caring helped me heal. I try to push that painful memory from my mind and remember how I'd then lived with Mom for about two months. Mom...she used to really drive me batty since we are actually alike in many ways.

I laugh a little at my own foible of letting Mom be the one to wake me up in the mornings when we had to go to work at the then-fledgiling Lunch Box. Boy, did she ever! She'd do everything she could to get up my back and even trickle cold water over me and used to talk to me like a kid. It used to drive me so bonkers that I always whined and complained and probably drove her crazy also. I guess I knew I needed to grow up then, but didn't want to admit it.

Mom actually did do me a favor then by _not_ waking me up one morning. At the time, however, I'd been furious, had overslept, and run into the Lunch Box late and whined and complained to Mom. I cringe now at how foolish I must have sounded to both her and Dan, who'd been attempting to unload this house that a so-called friend had conned him into borrowing. I needed to get out on my own again, so I bought the house. Mom loaned me the down payment and I paid her back three months later and moved in here...and have been here ever since. Andy has always lived here; he was born a year after I moved in. I think I needed Mom's butt-kick there, even though I didn't realize it at the time.

Over the years, Roseanne and I have gotten closer to Mom and now understand her better. Mom doesn't drive me as batty as she used to and she and Roseanne don't bicker as much as they once did. We still have our moments, but it's better now. We don't dread holidays with her as much as we once did.

We all had growing to do and we did it. Looking back, I realize that we used to be much less mature and more impulsive and short-sighted, only seeing that moment in time. Now all three of us have learned to step back and have longer vision and see the big picture. It was hard at times, but we did. And life certainly did make us stronger.

Andy is sitting at the kitchen table eating waffles as I enter. "Morning, sweetie..." I say, dropping kiss on his head.

"Hi, Mom...hey, are we going shopping with Aunt Roseanne and the others today?" he asked, pouring more honey over his waffles.

"We sure are," I make a plate of waffles for myself and join him at the table, where we eat in contented silence for a while. If there is the brightest thing in my life besides Roseanne and the business, it's my dear son, Andy. I look over at him from time to time. He has my dark hair and same almond shape of eyes as I do, while he has Fred's fair complexion and blue eyes. I'm so lucky to have my son; he's a wonderful boy and is very sweet. With all my life's screwups and blunders, Andy's been the positive in all this.

* * *

**Darlene:**

David and I manage to haul all three of our kids in the car with moderate squabbling...the usual who gets which window in the back and all and putting Sara in her car seat. Twice, Danny drops his boot in the snow and David and I dig out out each time, then we're on our way.

"Mom, can we got back and get Ralph?" Harris asks. Ralph is Harris' rubber frog that she adores and takes almost everywhere with her.

"No, I'm sure he could use come quiet time from the madness," I tell her. She groans a bit, then she and Danny play tick-tac-toe with the back of the car seat and some bits of scrap paper David and I have discarded and never got around to getting out of the car. I suppose we'll clean out the car when it needs it, which will probably be in ten years or when Sara's ready for college.

The parking lot, not surprisingly, is a zoo with the holidays on us. It takes us about twenty minutes to find a space and it's barely a space. We make it to Bed Bath and Beyond where Mom, Aunt Jackie, and Andy are. They wave us over and we meet and talk a mile a minute. The kids peer at the holiday decorations and talk amongst themselves while we adults walk in tow, talking.

Lanford Mall has grown in eight years. "This used to be a tiny thing back when Becky, DJ and I were kids," I say.

"It's come a long way since I worked at their Rodbell's in our lean years," Mom laughs. How well we remember that stint in our starvation days. "Jackie, remember when you'd come in for coffee the time you were a cop?" Aunt Jackie was a cop for a year long ago when we were kids until she injured her back in an arrest.

"Yeah..." Jackie nods. "You were wound up at leaving Dan in charge of the house and needed me to teach you how to bend once in a while and be weak like I used to be."

"_Teeeeeach meeeee!_" Mom mock-wheedles and we all laugh again.

"Remember how I tried to wheedle your credit card out of you, Jacks and had that nutty scheme of buying a stereo on sale and returning it full price?" I ask.

"Yeah, I remember. There I was in my uniform," Jackie adds. "I say, _That'll illegal_ and you say, _How do you know?_ with total innocence and big eyes and me feeling like a clown."

"_You think I'm wearing a clown suit?_" I quote her response exactly. I remember Jackie asking me that. "I used to think I'd be poor all my life...used to picture myself living in a shack in the middle of nowhere and Mom still working at Rodbell's." I remember walking away grumbling _I'm always gonna be poor_. I'd been fourteen then.

"Remember how Becky was all embarrassed to even have me there?" Mom asks.

"Yeah...she'd try to hide under the table behind her friends, dreading the sight of you approaching the table," I add.

"Yeah, she survived that kick in the head and is now producing films and plays about other's kicks in the heads," Mom puts in.

"Let's not forget that's how you met Leon and Bonnie," Jackie puts in. Bonnie Bramlett is Mom and Jackie's other friend. She records music for CD's. She has a really good voice. I remember hearing her sing a long time ago at a barbecue we had at our house on Delaware Street. I think it was Mother's Day.

"God, those sparring days with Leon...I almost miss those," Mom says. For the first few years, Mom and Leon didn't get along and always bickered. But after a few years of working at the Lunch Box and Leon's coming out about being gay, he and Mom started to get along better and now they're friends.

"Didn't Crystal call the other night?" David asks. "Her line of Christmas basket cosmetic is selling like hot waffles." Crystal is another friend of Mom's and Aunt Jackie's and she owns a small cosmetics company.

"Yeah...I've been hearing people talking about it," Jackie tells us. As we enter Best Buy to look around, we run into another set of old friends, Anne-Marie and Chuck. We greet and talk bit. I haven't seen Chuck in a long while. Chuck is a DJ at a local radio station while Anne-Marie is a co-owner of the Dinner Pail and Lunch Box with Mom, Jackie, Nancy and Leon.

Since the mall is crowded, we have to weave our way through most areas. We stop at the Boston Chicken Market for dinner after we've done some serious shopping.

* * *

**Roseanne**

I get home around eight that night and continue unpacking. I still have many of Dan's things, so I put those gently in several places throughout the condo. I still get a bit achy inside remembering my dear, dear husband who died of heart disease too soon. But the painful loss is softened by the happy memories I had of him and of course, our three beautiful kids. I place a small model boat that he built on my living room mantle. As I sort through more pictures, I find some small brownish envelopes beneath the pictures of my family. I realized that it's yellowed envelopes with some very old, rather faded pictures inside. They are from way before Jackie and I were even born. I see one of Mom when she was about five or so, then see several of passed away aunts and uncles and one of Nana Mary's parents. I see writing in the back and realize that it's written from a boat.

_My darling auntie Abigail_, my great-grandmother has apparently written. _Jacob and I will be landing in a few weeks. I hope we can make it into America once we land. Here is our poto so you know us when we come. Can you come meet us at the dock of Nww York? I look forward to seeing you again. Love, Gabrielle_. There are several crossings out and misspellings, but it's not surprising considering that Gabrielle was just learning English back then when she immigrated from Poland. Jackie and I never were told much about her. I have a very dim memory of her coming once, but she was very old then and died when Jackie and I were still little.

I sit back with a thunk and carefully pull out more pictures. I am startled to see Jackie, but then understand that it's not her, but someone who closely resembles her. It's Jackie's face, but this woman is wearing turn-of-last-century clothing and foreign-looking at that. I turn the picture over and see the name _Annika Harineteski_ on the back. It looks as if she lived around the late 1800 to early 1900's. There is no more information about her. I'm more curious, especially when I see a picture of a man that looks a lot like Mom. Again, there is not much information other than the name _Johan Harineteski_ on the back. I wonder if they are either spouses or siblings.

Heart hammering in excitement, I get up and call Jackie and tell her what I found. She sounds excited also. "This Annika...she looks like me?" Jackie squeaks.

"Exactly..." I confirm. "She looks like you transported in time and transferred to Poland."

"Ohhhh..." Jackie squeals. "Maybe Mom and Nana Mary can tell us more. Maybe they escaped those...pogram groups that were killing all those people back then...God, they were nasty pograms...I read a book on them once and it gave me nightmares..." Jackie rattles on a bit until I laugh. She's so excitable. I promise to update her more on what I find and to show her when she comes over here before we hang up.

More later!


	2. Visions Past and Present

**Lanford Days Again**

_By_: CNJ

_PG-13_

**2: Visions Past and Present**

**Jackie:**

_I'm crouched low under something, but I can't see clearly to see what it is_. _I look down a short hallway and recognize my childhood home_. _Why am I here? I wonder_. _For some reason, a chill of fear races up my back_. _The hall is dark, but I can see some things clearly_.

_I hear murmuring voices coming from a room with a door ajar_. _I want to look, but am too afraid for some reason I can't explain_. _One voice is my father's_. _I catch a glimpse of him, but sense someone else is in the room, but cannot figure out who it is or what is going on_.

_Gathering up courage, I lean forward in an attempt to see what is going on_..._but suddenly my dad steps out of the room and sees me_. _I scream as he glares down at me_. _I see that he's holding the belt that he used to hit Roseanne and me with and try to run, but I tumble over backwards and he grabs me_...

I wake up, my heart hammering, my neck and bangs damp with sweat and my body trembling so hard that the bed vibrates. I frantically reach over and turn on a lamp and look around to reassure myself that I am here in my present house and that I am an adult no longer at the mercy of Dad and his belt. I remind myself that I am in control of my life now and am a home-owning businesswoman raising a son. I also remind myself that Dad's been dead for twelve years and cannot harm me or Roseanne ever again.

I wipe tears from my eyes and try to calm myself, will my out of control heart to stop galloping. I keep looking around focusing on my present room in the house I own just the way one of my therapists taught me to whenever I had a flashback or nightmare. It helps and I feel myself grow calmer.

This was the first time in a very long time that I've had nightmares. I had many of them after I broke up with an abusive boyfriend and was dealing with the emotional fallout from that awful relationship. Roseanne and I also dealt with our traumatic childhood of being beaten by Dad's belt and feeling unloved by Mom and Dad. I nervously wonder why I had this nightmare now.

Although I'm no longer terrified, I still feel a bit nervous, too nervous to turn off the lamp and go back to sleep just yet, so I pick up a book and read for a while.

* * *

**Darlene:**

As I scan my last few articles and scripts for the latest issue of _Ten Lives To Eternity_, I look around at my staff also busily working to get the spring issue to the press. Our holiday issue came out last week and was a beaut. The spring issue is scheduled for release in early March.

David and I own and run three comic book series and one writers' magazine. Over the past few years, they've become quite successful and two of our comics are becoming nationwide by the spring.

David comes into the office and shows me the artwork for the issue. "Finally…I got the right shade of spring green with the right touch of tulip purple." It's pictures of gardens where the main three characters land on a planet with all gardens.

"Looks great," I say. "These are just about ready for the press." The written work comes out then and I look them over one last time to make sure there are no missed typos or errors.

David and I along with the staff of about twenty spend the rest of the afternoon at the computers matching the comic scripts with the images, then once we send it to the press, we whoop.

"Great work, as always!" I say. David goes to his office and comes out with holiday treats for everyone…cookies, Hanukah gelts and Christmas chocolate. I go over to the fridge and take out sodas, punch, and tea and we have a small party there in the office. We hog out and half of the cake lands on the ceiling and David takes a picture of it for a memento and promises to pass out duplicates to everyone after the holidays.

* * *

**Roseanne:**

"Despite its growth, we're still attached to this tacky panel!" I laugh from a customer's funny comment about the paneling at one of our Lunch Box restaurants. I survey the place, our very first Lunch Box here in Lanford. It used to be a tiny roadside diner, but since then it's grown and being Friday night, nearly everyone and their mom is there.

It looks the same, yet different than it did eight years ago. It now has a drive-thru and take out, a few bags of which I have with me and plan to take home for dinner tonight. It also has pagers for busy nights and even a little magazine shop/ reading section for long waits.

I smile, then head to the back and grab my jacket. I head out to the headquarters, which is our offices, a short walk away from this diner. I enter and see Jackie hard at work at a computer in her cubicle.

"Chipmunk having a late dinner?" I quip as I see Jackie's art image of a chipmunk gobbling up a plateful of food in front of a moonlit window. There is snow outside of the window.

"Yeah…and looka this…" Jackie grinned and she zoomed the picture back to show other animals and people eating huge platefuls of food. Bits of snow cover the ground and there is a caricature of a fireplace over the counter with small animals gathered in front of it. "The place to be this winter."

"Yeah…that'll get them," I laugh. "Almost ready?" Jackie nods and saves her picture, then closes down the computer and grabs her jacket. Jackie and Andy are coming over for dinner tonight and I'll be showing them the pictures I found.

* * *

"Ohhhh, my God, she looks like…" Jackie gasps a couple hours later as the three of us are poring over the pictures. "It's spooky…like one of those scary sci-fi movies I dreaded about this person discovering they've been cloned." We gaze at Annika for a long minute.

"Is she still alive?" Andy asks.

"No, darling, she lived a long time ago, way before any of us were around," I say.

"Even Grandma?" Andy asks.

"Yup, even before Grandma," Jackie tells him. Her brown eyes light up a bit. "Perhaps Mom or Nana Mary can tell us more about these ancestors…how they survived and what they did once they got here and all…"

I nod and fish out more photos, including one woman who looks a lot like Nana Mary.

"Hey, here's Annika again," Jackie holds out another photo, this time a group shot. It's faded and in sepia brown tones, but it's Annika with an older woman who appears to be her mom, a young man who I guess to be her brother and a girl who looks about fourteen or so who I assume is Annika's sister. There is no information on the back.

"We should call them," I say.

* * *

"And I say, _We have the oil in Alaska and other states, not just in the Middle East_, " Nana Mary is rattling away as she and Bev enter the condo.

"Yes, Mom, I know, it's not that…" Bev sighs.

"Hiii, Mom, hiii, Grandma…" Jackie and I call. We sit down to eat and Bev and Nana Mary bicker and debate on high gas prices, clothes hangers, retirement plans, the kids.

"Annika, my great aunt," Nana Mary recognizes Annika immediately after we eat. She holds the group picture up. "Her family…mother, Esther, who come over from Poland, her older brother, Johan, her younger sister, Grete. Their father was killed in the pogroms raging through Eastern Europe then. I remember her telling me about this when I was little."

"Maybe I should write this down…" I mutter. Jackie and I scurry to grab post-its and other slips of paper. "Go on…" I write about Annika's family and post it to the back of the group shot. I don't want to take chances ruining the already old, rather fragile picture by writing on it.

"Mom, do you remember her?" Jackie asks.

"Barely…" Bev says. "She died when I was a little girl about five…"

"I believe she was born around the eighteen-eighties and lived about sixty years…died around the nineteen forties," Nana Mary tells us. "In fact, I remember it was a couple of years after the second World War."

We learn quite a bit more about these ancestors…Jacob and Gabrielle, Jackie and my great-grandmother from another branch of the family came over from Poland also…we also had some ancestors from Germany on Nana Mary's dad's side…they were also fleeing the pogroms. We also discovered some who came a bit earlier around the eighteen-sixties.

Nana Mary tells us that back then, Ellis Island wasn't around, so they'd come through an immigration station by another name, still in New York City. In their case, they were feeling poverty, also from Germany.

We also find out that Jacob and Gabrielle almost didn't make it into this country because they'd both been ill with smallpox. Thank God they'd recovered and were admitted two weeks later with the help of their aunt Abigail.

We also learn that Abigail was a seamstress and that Annika was an ironer in a factory. There are still some ancestors we still don't recognize and that neither Nana Mary or Mom can tell us anything about. But I say it's still better than before. I am toying with the idea of making a scrapbook and maybe a huge mural to put up here.

"I think this is Al's grandmother," Bev says about one photo. She sure does look like Dad. Same small eyes and same grin, I can tell. I see Jackie's hands shake a little and a flicker of fear in her brown eyes and she looks away. I put a soft hand on hers, silently asking her what's wrong.

"I don't know…"

"What's the matter, dear?" Bev puts a hand on Jackie's shoulder.

"It sound crazy…nutty…" Jackie mutters, her brows slanting a little despite her attempts to smile it off.

"We're used to crazy," I tell her. "Let's not forget which family this is."

"I had a bad dream about dad the other night," Jackie says softly. I see. I wonder if she remembers…I see Mom look over at me, her eyes also wondering.

"What was it about?" I ask, not wanting to trigger anything that could upset her even more.

"I was…in our…" Jackie clears her throat nervously. "…it was our old house where we grew up…I was under a table and kept hearing voices…and…" Jackie cleared her throat again, her eyes shimmering a little with tears. "Dad came after me with the belt," she finished quietly.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry," Bev says softly, stroking Jackie's back. I silently marvel at the progress we've all made with Mom. Eight years ago, Jackie would have been too frightened to tell our mother something like this and Bev would have been too scared to hear it. We sit for a long minute, then decide to have a tea and coffee break. Andy decides to have a mix of tea with cocoa in it.

* * *

**Becky:**

"Ready...and cut!" I say as the scene we are filming ends. We're almost done with our latest film, _Promenades on the Loose_, a comedy about people discussing life's ironies. They often meet at three popular promenade awnings in their town hence the movie title.

I smile softly as the set clears and the producers stand by me, the director, and we applaud. "Think this one will top last year's box office hit?" Marcia asks me as she, Bette, and I amble off the now-empty set.

"Not sure," I say. "It'll be a tall order." We talk a bit more about this film's prospects, then part.

I have my daughter, Alicia's holiday recital to get to tonight, so I drive over to her school. She's six and loves to dance, so she's dancing the lead in the play _The Nutcracker_, playing the part of the main little girl.

Besides my career in film directing, which took off four years ago, Alicia is also the light of my life. She's a bright little girl with Mark's black hair and my blue eyes. Mom, Jackie, and Darlene all tell me that she's inherited a lot of my personality also.

I've raised Alicia alone since she was one when Mark and I split up. I sigh softly as I turned down the road leading to her school.

I'd toyed with the idea of being a doctor when I was younger. We'd married young, too young I now realize. Mark and I lived in Minnesota for a year while I finished my last year of high school and Mark worked as a mechanic.

But after about a year, Mark lost his job and we'd moved back to Lanford with Mom and Dad. Darlene was in college then. I'd wanted to go, but also was working at some dinky job in a shabby bar...just something to bring in money so we could move out on our own again.

Mark didn't seem to be in too much of a hurry to move out again or move on. He started to take a class, but after one low test score, became discouraged and dropped out complaining about how much he hated school or any type of classwork. Eventually, with Mom's urging, he got another job as a mechanic and another year later, we'd moved into a trailer.

I smile ruefully as I remembered how worried Mom and Dad had been then, since it was a rather shabby park, but I was determined that we start someplace and that this was a step forward rather than mooching off my parents indefinitely. After all, my parents had started in a small, run-down apartment and so had Jackie, for that matter.

My parents had been more than generous and they and Jackie along with Darlene and DJ had helped us move in and my parents donated some of their old furniture.

I wanted to go back to school and get a degree somewhere, so I could land a better-paying job and maybe launch a career since I certainly didn't want to spend my entire life waiting tables, especially since Mark and I were contemplating having kids. I wanted a family, but not until I was sure we could support the kid.

But Mark was complacent enough to stay where he was and tried to discourage me from going back. I'd said that if he wanted to stay a mechanic, it was fine with me, but I wanted to get something different than waitressing in a sleazy bar. We fought more and more about this for several years.

I went back to school and bit by bit, got my degree with Mom, Dad, Darlene, DJ's, and Jackie's encouragement. I also had Alicia during that time when I was about to graduate about a year after Dad died. But by then, Mark had drifted away from us and shortly after he left.

Thank all the stars I landed a better job managing a movie theater. It had been tough going at first, but eventually through soul-searching and hunting around, I branched out into directing and moved to Chicago five years ago.

As I get to the school, I hurriedly park, trying to avoid patches of ice and snow in the lot and head into the school. Most of the parents are there and I chat briefly with some other parents including the parents of Alicia's friend, Ruby. We then spot Alicia and Ruby and wave. They wave back, looking great in their costumes. They look ready to dance.

They come over and we chat a bit and I give Alicia a hug before they're called backstage. Ruby's parents and I find seating in the crowded auditorium and sit.

* * *

I check my phone messages in the bathroom at the restaurant later on that evening where I am at dinner with Alicia, Ruby, and Ruby's parents and discover one from the west coast. Who do I know in Los Angeles? I wonder, then remember several of the actors I'd directed had agents who lived in Hollywood.

Am I surprised that it's a message from the Academy Awards group announcing that my last year's film, _From Here to Pergola_ has been nominated for a Oscar! And I was nominated Best Director. Wow. I stand stunned for a long minute, my heart hammering in my chest. Whoahhhh. Wait until I tell the others.

More later!


	3. Have Ourselves A Happy Little Holiday

**Lanford Days Again**

_By_: CNJ

_PG-13_

**3: Let's Have Ourselves A Happy Little Holiday**

**Nancy:**

I drive toward the school a few nights before Christmas with my wife, Marla to see our nine-year-old twins, Patrick and Annalise perform in the school play. Jackie and Leon will also be meeting us there since their kids are also in the holiday play this year also. Leon and Scott's daughter, Natasha, is Andy's age and like Andy, is in fifth grade.

As I park, I redo my lipstick quickly, then Marla and I head to the school auditorium. It's a beautiful, cold, clear night and the moonlight bounces off the snow.

"The gang's all here!" I hear Roseanne's loud voice bellow in the night and we greet each other loudly, laughing. Leon and Scott join us and we go in. It seems as if the entire universe is packed in the auditorium. We do eventually manage to find seats together, but it's a wedge.

The lights dim. The play is enjoyable and the kids are delightful. I see Jackie's eyes well up several times as she sees the artwork her son's done for the play. Andy is so much like Jackie personalitywise I often joke that he's her male half. It looks as if he's inherited Jackie's artistic talent also.

Marla and I hold hands and cuddle a bit as we watch our children perform the part of dolls in a version of the Merry Christmas part of the play. Leon and Scott's daughter does a singing role as a Menorah lighter. She has a swell voice and is a good dancer. In a way her dancing reminds me of Alicia, who's interested in ballet. Becky has told me that she is quite talented in that area also. Becky, Alicia, DJ and his fiancee, Lian are coming here to town in just two days.

**DJ:**

Lian and I cuddle close to the fireplace in our apartment in Elgin as we feed each other Chinese dinner after work. Lian, who is a high school history teacher, has now started her winter break and I too am taking a two-week holiday vacation from my work as a photographer. I haven't seen Becky and Darlene and the others since last August; I spent Thanksgiving with Lian's family in Ohio.

"So, now my sisters and mom know about our coming news, your family's next," Lian tells me.

"Yeah..." I say. It's actually news divided in two...the first one being that Lian and I have set our wedding date for April. Let's just hope our other bit of news can stay in place until at least the due date in mid-May. I reach over and can feel Lian's abdomen moving, quivering.

We laugh softly a bit, then I try singing to whoever's inside Lian's abdomen.

"Maybe he or she will wind up with musical talent," Lian says softly.

"Yeah...I wonder," I say. "I talked to Aunt Jackie the other day and she tells me that she and Mom found some old pictures of our ancestors when Mom moved into the condo."

"Wow...maybe that's where your funny face comes from," Lian jokes. 

I laugh, poke her, then go on. "We have a lot of funny faces in our family...people have told me I look like Aunt Jackie, however."

"Actually, you do." Lian has met my family before. "And your oldest sister...Becky, looks like your dad."

I nod. Darlene looks a lot like Mom in coloring and facial features, but has inherited my late dad's curly hair. Becky and I have Aunt Jackie and Mom's straight hair. Becky has Dad's facial features and coloring...gold-blond hair and blue eyes while Darlene, Jackie, Mom, and I all have dark hair and brown eyes.

As we finish eating, I think about our families and think about how mine has changed, yet stayed the same. I feel a bittersweet pang in my chest as I remember Dad and how much we all still miss him to this day. He was usually the one who stayed the most calm whenever we had our crazy holidays. 

One vague image comes to mind of a Thanksgiving when I was a kid, maybe around seven or so and Grandma, Jackie, and Mom had all been bickering. Jackie had just become a cop and Grandma went off into a worrying fit. Jackie had wound up in tears with Mom banging the turkey onto the kitchen table. All the while, Dad had just sat there calmly eating and drinking his beer. I don't remember how it all ended or whether Grandma stayed the night or much else since I was a little kid back then. Maybe Darlene and Becky remember it more clearly.

**Jackie:**

I wake up early and remember that DJ and Lian are here. It's still dark, but I can see that it's almost six in the morning. I also realize that it's also Christmas day today. I read a while until I hear soft footsteps in the hall and DJ and Lian talking softly. By then it's growing light. I look out and see that it's snowing lightly outside. It's so lovely and adds to the holiday feel. I rise and head down the hall and poke my head into the living room where I see DJ, Lian, and Andy lighting the tree and menorah.

"Merry Christmas...Happy Hanukkah..." I tell them, coming in and giving them hugs. 

"Merry Christmas...Happy Hanukkah," the three of them say back. I decide to put on tea and coffee and light the fireplace.

"Who wants an early breakfast?" I offer from the kitchen. They all take up my offer and I cook sausages and pancakes and we eat by the fireplace and open our gifts.

In a couple of hours, we'll be heading over to Darlene's where Becky, Alicia and Roseanne are staying for the holidays.

**Darlene:**

It's a regular rush...this time a Christmas morning rush. The kids wake David and me up early, almost before it's light, then madly rush down to the tree, waking up Mom, Becky and Alicia along the way. David and I linger in bed a couple of more minutes, then haul ourselves up and head downstairs. "MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY HANUKKAH!" The others bellow from the tree. We greet back and notice that some of the kids' presents have already been opened. Sara's laughing and bouncing a rubber ball back and forth.

It is a bit later that Aunt Jackie, cousin Andy, DJ, and Lian arrive. An hour later, Grandma and Nana Mary arrive also. As usual, Nana Mary and Grandma are bantering and bickering as they always do, especially during holidays. I smile at them as David and I retreat to the kitchen and start getting the makings for dinner out. We're hoping to have the dinner ready by late afternoon, so we gather ham, little hens and a salad together. "Moooom, Danny's eating the chips out of the box our PlayStation came in..." Harris calls into the kitchen.

"Good, maybe he'll gain lots of fiber," I say and laugh, thinking of all the little strands that do make up the peanut styrofoam of boxes. Harris goes back into the living room.

It's a chaotic, but neat day...David and I go in and out of the kitchen, trying to get the game hens right...some of them do, but some fry a little. As we're rotating kitchen duty, Mom and Jackie poke their heads in, offering help. We tell them we're fine.

Nancy, Bonnie, Chuck, Anne-Marie, and Crystal drop by and leave gifts. By then, there are styrofoam peanuts all over the living room and Andy, Angela, Ed, and my kids are having a great time in them, diving through it and all.

Finally, the food's ready. "FOOOOOD!" I bellow and everyone comes running.

"Are we going to try to get some of this foam lint off the floor?" Grandma asks. "Or will we eat our holiday dinner with it dripping all around us?"

"Not really, I figure we could use it for supplementary stuffing," I say as we sit. It takes a bit of shuffling around, especially since Crystal, her three kids and Chuck and Anne-Marie are with us, but finally we sit and eat and eat and eat until we're stuffed.

DJ and Lian announce that they are expecting a baby in mid-May and that they are getting married in early April. Becky announces that her film from last year has been nominated.

"So, is a palace in Hollywood on the way, Becks?" Nana Mary asks, pouring more salt in her salad.

"No, Alicia and I like Chicago too much," Becky tells her. "And with all the backbiting and greed in Hollywood, it gets stale fast...who needs that?"

Meanwhile, DJ, Lian, Mom, and Jackie are discussing possible names. "Certainly you'd never consider Gidget for a girl, would you?" Jackie laughs a bit. So do DJ and Lian. I smile also remembering when Jackie was pregnant with Andy and rather frightened. Grandma had been on her case, especially since Jackie wasn't married and Jackie had blurted out that she wasn't planning on marrying any time soon and that if she had a girl, she'd name it Gidget, which nearly sent Grandma into glandular upheaval. We'd been so uptight back then. Looking around now, I see we are all much mellower and looser.

"No..." DJ reassures her. "We really haven't decided yet on names. We don't want something too common and yet we don't want to pick something way out to pasture either."

**Roseanne:**

After dinner, we regroup in the living room, I light the fireplace, and I show everyone the pictures of our ancestors that I found. Since Jackie, Andy, Mom, and Nana Mary have already seen them, it's mostly my kids' turn to see them for the first time.

"Oh, God, this one looks just like you, Jackie!" Lian says.

"I think Gabrielle looks like you, Mom," Darlene says holding up the first photo I saw of Gabrielle. Now that I look twice, I do see some resemblance.

"You need to put all this into a scrapbook," Mom suggests. "Otherwise, once they get lost, we'll have lost a load of our past." I nod.

"I'm also thinking of a sort of mural," I say.

"A mural?" Mom asks as if I'd suggested going to Mars.

"Oh, not the kind where you paint on walls like graffiti," I say. "But a type of tube like furniture and I'd preserve copies of the pictures in there with the descriptions."

"We can also archive a lot of this," Jackie suggests. "Lanford City Hall probably has archives in their libraries...hey!" Jackie's dark eyes brighten and she drops her tea with a splat. "I bet we could even find out more about the ancestors we still don't know about through the city halls! If not Lanford, we can dig up...New York City's records and find out a lot of stuff."

"Ellis Island," Becky puts in.

"We studied that in school," Andy adds. "They have this big wall with a whole lot of names of the immigrants who came to this country."

"What's an immigrant?" Alicia asks.

"It's somebody who comes from a foreign country to live in this country," Becky tells her. We toss around more ideas until late and get more and more excited about this. By the end of the evening, I'm pretty psyched about us finding out about our whole entire family, people we'd never met or heard of before I unearthed those pictures.

**Jackie:**

_I'm stooped below a table in a hallway_. _Once again I am in my childhood home_. _Why am I here? I wonder again_. _Once again, I feel fear, a dark ominous fear_. _I see more this time and hear voices more clearly_. _My dad's_. _My sister's mumbles_. _I'm frozen in place and begin to shake in unexplained vague terror_.

_A shadow falls over me and I try to run, screaming in terror_. _I know it's my dad after me with the belt_. _I hear it lashing menacingly behind me_. _Vaguely, I think I see Mom in the background, but I am too terrified to turn and look back and I keep running_..._until I feel my dad grab my arm and scream_...

I find myself in my current bedroom to my enormous relief. I'm still screaming, so I stifle my screams and tell myself that my childhood is over, that I am a grown woman safe in her own house and am a business owner and a mother. I'm still shivering, however and my neck and bangs are damp with sweat. I still feel the fear and stuff a corner of my blanket in my mouth to keep from screaming again. Shivering, I turn on the lamp and once again try to calm myself down.

Why am I now having these bad dreams? I wonder fearfully, still breathing hard. What is triggering them and how can I get them to stop? I feel especially disturbed that they are becoming more frequent and more vivid. I look out the window for a while, attempting to calm myself with the sight of the snow on the window ledge, then get my book to read for a while. I wonder if I should start seeing my shrink again.


	4. Snow and Stuff

**Lanford Days Again**

_By_: CNJ

_PG-13_

**4: Snow and Stuff**

**Andy:**

I'm happy to see the snow piled up outside and also see that it's still coming down that early morning in mid-January. I can hear Mom puttering around in the kitchen and she has the radio on. I slowly get up, get dressed, and wander toward the kitchen.

"There's no school today, sweetie," Mom gives me a kiss on my head. I nod and make myself a cup of chocolate and sit, slowly drinking it and watch Mom and the snow.

Mom is working a bit on fixing a handle on a pot. She's good at fixing things. People tell me I take after her a lot. I guess I do...I have her straight dark hair and shape of eyes. But I have my dad's eye color, blue, and my dad's fair complexion while my mom has brown eyes and an olive complexion.

My parents were married for a year when I was a baby, but split up when I was a little over a year...incompatible differences, Mom says. Mom's never remarried, but Dad has. He lives on the other side of town and his wife, Jennifer, has two sons who are slightly older than me. Jennifer is Dad's fourth wife. I can't imagine being married four times and divorced three times. Mom was Dad's second wife. I see them one weekend a month; next weekend will be my weekend with Dad.

"Mom...will I be able to fix things as good as you?" I ask as I sip the last of my cocoa.

"Sure, honey," Mom tells me as she puts the now-fixed pot away. She pours herself a cup of coffee and sits. "Believe it or not, not so long ago, I couldn't turn a screw to save my life."

"Really?" I can't imagine Mom not being able to fix a hinge or do all that she does around the house.

"Really." Mom sips her coffee. "Once when you were a baby, I heard the furnace making odd noises and couldn't figure out for the liver of me what the hell was going on...I called your uncle Dan and he came over and it turned out to be something as simple as a leaky valve."

She laughs and I smile at the picture of her standing over the furnace helplessly. It's a tough image to conjure because we've had a couple of things leak like valves and hinges and what not and now Mom always just goes down with her toolbox and fixes it quickly.

"But then, you had just been living there for a short time," I say. She moved here about a year before I was born.

"Yes..." Mom nods. "And it was just a few days before I married your father, so I was jittery enough to begin with and knew virtually nothing about this house. Your dad..." Mom stops suddenly and takes a last gulp of her coffee. I sense she's tempted to say more about Dad, but has stopped herself.

"Did you and Dad argue about it?" I ask.

"Yeah..." Mom says softly. "I think your dad was uncomfortable with your uncle coming over to fix things...we both were insecure."

I nod and lick the chocolate grains off the bottom of my cup. I know Dad can sometimes be pushy and possessive. He is sometimes that way with Jennifer and her kids. The four of them spend a lot of time bickering over small, petty things that are actually unrelated to the true issues at hand. I think they all have issues, although I'm not sure exactly what they are.

It's very different there than here...they seem more competitive and spend most of their time either in front of the TV watching sports or sitting around talking about nothing. My stepbrothers are very good at talking about just nothing for hours.

I know that sounds weird to some of you, the idea of talking about "nothing," but I guess it's that...mostly it's just empty sayings that doesn't invite deeper discussion or thoughts. They'll talk endlessly about the latest ball game for instance and basically re-hash over and over again why this team scored as they did or what this player did and all that repeated recapping bit. Or about other people's argument and overanalyze who said what and this person said this. Not like here with Mom and Aunt Roseanne and my cousins.

My family here can talk about everything. I mean _everything_...from childbirth to childhood to teachers to schools to progress in society to technology to computers to business, including their own and others' to finances to planning to retirement to old age and now more recently to our ancestors especially since Aunt Roseanne found those neat pictures in one of her boxes at her condo to name a few. And we're always coming up with new angles that the others haven't heard of or that some might consider weird or odd. I hope we find out more about those people who were related to us. I find myself imagining what life must have been like for everyone living back then and I suspect Mom and Aunt Roseanne think about it too.

I'm finished with my cocoa, chocolate grains included and Mom is done with her coffee, so I tell her I'm going over to Darlene's to see my cousins.

"Okay, sweetheart, have a good time," Mom kisses my forehead and I grab my jacket and go.

* * *

**Roseanne:**

Jackie and I decided to take today off and give our employees most of the day off because of the snow. I head over to my sister's house around noon and see her hard at work shoveling her walk. She's wrapped in her blue coat and the hood keeps blowing off her head, so she gives up trying to keep her hood on and just shovels away.

I smile at the sight. My sister's really grown up in the past ten or so years. In some ways, it's hard to believe and yet it isn't that she turned forty-eight earlier this month. It also reminds me that back in November, I myself turned fifty-one. It's also showing in that I missed a period that month and just a few weeks ago, woke up several times with sweat on the back of my neck. Hot flashes, I muse.

"Hey, need some help with the extra mile?" I call.

"Yeah, thanks," Jackie says. She's practically done with her sidewalk, so I help her clean the snow off her car. I'm glad my days of shoveling snow and cleaning off my car are behind me now. The condo has a parking garage and the maintenance does our scut work.

"How's your end of our ancestor project going?" Jackie asks once we're inside in her kitchen and we have hot tea. I'm doing the mural part while Jackie is working of the scrapbook.

"Good." I say. "I called City Hall and they suggested an appointment to see the pictures. Want to come with me?"

"Sure," Jackie nods. I have some of the pictures while Jackie has some of them and together we flip through them. I look over to Jackie's living room where she has more recent pictures of our current family. We talk more about different things and somehow Jackie mentions her wedding...I guess because she's looking at a picture near on the little table next to the kitchen of her and Fred. In it, her eyes are closed as she kisses Fred and is breastfeeding baby Andy at the same time. I know Andy's now at Darlene's. I smile as I remember how nervous Jackie was.

"...and if I wasn't nervous enough as it was, the furnace sprouted a leaky valve and I had no idea what to do," Jackie smiles ruefully.

"You thought there was a ghost in your basement and called Dan right over," I laugh.

"I was a real mess back then," Jackie shakes her head, laughing a bit herself. "Like a kid, I freaked out over a stupid little leaky valve. I felt so dumb and ignorant standing there by the basement door, too scared to go down there and whining to Dan to go down there and whimpering like an idiot."

"You did what you knew then, but now you outgrew your own infancy and have evolved." We both laugh more. "Fred sure didn't," I add. Jackie's laughter kind of fades and she looks a bit sad. She toys with her tea bag and becomes quiet.

"Fred tried..." she says sadly. "But he just couldn't get past the jealousy. I remember how he tried to start the fight with Dan over it thinking I was having some dumb affair with Dan. I hope he's gotten past it now that he's with Jennifer."

"Wife number four, isn't it?" I ask.

Jackie shrugs, then nods. She doesn't like to say anything bad about anyone, not even her ex-husband. I remember that year they were married. Fred is much more limited, lets say, than Jackie and had few real interests. His idea of a good time was to sit in front of the tube watching sports endlessly and never go anywhere. Jackie is much more varied and creative and has always liked to try all these new things and often has funny, nutty ideas, most of which actually work. I think Fred hoped Jackie would become a couch potato like him and waste her time vegging in front of the TV and drop all her interests. I'm glad she didn't and stayed her crazy, lovable self.

Another problem those two had was Fred was so jealous...once he accused my sister of having an affair just for dancing a couple of times with some guy at the Lobo Lounge. Jackie's really sensitive, so she took that pretty hard. Even though it was devastating for Jackie at first and she cried five hundred planets of tears afterwards, it was a good thing they divorced after a year. I'm glad all that's over and Jackie's done a swell job raising Andy so far. He'll be eleven this March and is a very polite, sweet boy. He's a lot like his mom.

"I just hope Jennifer's right for Fred and maybe Fred's reached an all right point in his life where he's more secure and can be happy with Jennifer," Jackie adds softly.

"Yeah...let's hope," I say, despite my doubts. I'm so lucky that Dan was never like that. Dan and I had such a good marriage...we were so fortunate to have found each other.

"Hey, I'll show you what I have in my scrapbooks so far," Jackie offers. We take our teacups to the sink and go look over the scrapbooks for the next couple of hours, talking over them, adding this or that.

* * *

**Crystal:**

I've finally gotten a chance to re-organize the huge mess I had in my linen closet. Eddie and Angela are over at Darlene and David's, so I have the house to myself for the afternoon. I'm amazed at how time has flown...how well I remember when my kids, Lonnie, who's now twenty-nine and married, Eddie junior, who is now fourteen, and Angela, who is thirteen were born.

All three kids' dads are now deceased. My marriage to Lonnie's dad had been brief and kind of crazy. Then my later marriage to Ed senior, who was Dan's dad, was more peaceful and happy. Ed senior passed on four years ago from a stroke. I miss Ed everyday, but I am thankful for the good times we had and that his time, when it came, it came quickly.

As I put boxes back up, I spot some old pictures of Ed senior when he was young. He's with his mom in the picture and I decided to investigate further. Perhaps Roseanne and Jackie would like pictures from Dan's family to add to her mural and scrapbook. I se the box on a chair and leaf through the pictures more thoroughly. I find a few pictures of ancestors, many of them who have Ed and Dan's curly light hair and blue eyes. A few have who they are, but most of them I don't know.

It'll be getting dark soon, so I decide to go to Darlene's to pick up my kids. The snow's stopped and the main roads are now clear, so it's easier to drive. I have the pictures with me. Everyone's inside when I get there. Being there on 714 Delaware Street brings back many memories of when Roseanne and Dan lived there and when Darlene, Becky, and DJ were kids like Eddie and Angela.

"Hello..." I call.

"Come in..." Darlene calls from the kitchen where she's dividing silverware. She is almost the splitting image of her mother at that age. David is putting away plates. I see Andy is also there with my kids, the Healy kids, and with Natasha, Leon's daughter.

They're in the living room playing some type of Playstation five million or something. Sara is still too small to play, so she mostly toddles around and drags a little toy truck behind her. I never did get those video game levels and all. Being a kid today is more complicated and technologically tangled, if you ask me. Nancy, Jackie, and Leon don't think so, but I do. Bev is one of the few who agree with me on that one.

"Hiiii..." the kids chime and I greet them back.

"Hey, Mom, they said it might snow more tonight, so we'll probably be off school again, so can I stay up late and watch _Tales from the Crypt_?" Eddie asks. His voice is changing, so it warbles and sort of squeaks in the end.

"We'll see..." I stifle a groan inwardly at the thought of more snow. I just spent a good part of the morning shoveling my walkway and cleaning the snow and ice off my car. I hope I don't have to do it again tomorrow.

I give Darlene the pictures and she promises to give them to Roseanne and Jackie. Some of them are duplicates, so I give those to her. Darlene has tea for us, so Darlene, David and I sit in the kitchen and chat for a while.

"Heyyyy, Mom, Dad, we made level twelve, layer twenty-three!" Harris calls.

"That's great, honey," Darlene calls.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Beats me," Darlene tells me. "I just act tuned into that Playstation jargon...even if I'm not."

"Me too," David says. "The games are sure different from the Nintendos we played with as kids."

"Call Nintendo the disco era of video games," Darlene takes our cups to the dishwasher. I think back to my childhood where video games and video players themselves were unheard of.

I hear a sort of crash out in the garage and I start to get up. Darlene runs over to investigate. "It's just Jackie and Leon," she tells me. Sure enough, Jackie trips into the kitchen out of breath and her hair and jacket dripping with snow. Leon stumbles behind.

"Always forget about that side panel..." Leon mutters. "And Jackie couldn't be seen...thought she'd outgrown her awkward phase."

Jackie's brushing a mess of snow out of her hair. "Yeah, I thought I had also...but with neurotics like me, there's never an outgrowing of awkwardness...Andy?"

"Hi, Mom..." Andy comes into the kitchen and gives Jackie a little hug. He's almost as tall as she is now.

"Hello, darling...are you ready to head home now?" Jackie kisses him.

"Yeah...we're just playing some Playstation games."

"Oh, hey, Crystal brought over these," Darlene shows Jackie the pictures. "From Dan's side of the family."

"Hey..." Jackie leafs through them. She holds them out to show to the rest of us. "Thanks, Darlene...thanks, Crystal...we can add this to the mural...Crystal, any idea who these are?"

I don't know, but Jackie, Darlene, and I figure we can try City Hall to see if they have any answers. Roseanne has already contacted them about entering the family records in their archives and we're hoping they get back to us soon.

Meanwhile, we can try to gather up more information and maybe some artifacts from these ancestors. I think about how we can go about this as I gather my kids and head home.


	5. Tip of an Iceberg

**Lanford Days Again**

_By_: CNJ

_PG-13_

**5: Tip of an Iceberg**

**Jackie:**

I spend the next few days leafing through the pictures Crystal gave me and showing them to Roseanne. I feel a bit...kind of wistful remembering Dan and Roseanne's long, happy marriage. Dan was like an older brother to me. We used to even bicker like siblings sometimes and Roseanne would settle us down.

I still get a tightness in my throat when I remember how Roseanne and I wept in each others' arms at Dan's funeral. How their kids also loved him. Despite the fact that Ed wasn't a very good dad to Dan, Dan still made a wonderful dad to Becky, Darlene, and DJ.

Roseanne and I add some of the pictures to our scrapbook; Roseanne puts some in the mural and others we put in a box to take to City Hall and try to trace, the ones with people we don't know. About half of the pictures fall into the latter category, so it'll be quite a bit of digging around from Dan's side.

As my sister and I pore over and add to the scrapbook, I silently marvel at how well Roseanne's built her life post-Dan. She still misses him, yet doesn't let that rule her life.

It's early February when I am disturbed by yet another nightmare. It is almost the same one I had last time with me cowering under the table and my dad doing something with my sister in another room and my dad coming after me again with the belt, but this time he grabs me and threatens, _If you breathe one word of what you just saw, I'll kill you and your body will never be found_.

I wake up with a scared scream once again and sit up shaking uncontrollably. I feel tears in my eyes and once again turn on the lamp and try to calm myself down. What is behind these horrible dreams? I wonder fearfully. A few tears spill down my face and I shakily wipe them away. I thought I'd healed from the childhood abuse Roseanne and I suffered from.

I want to tell myself that it's just an "anniversary reaction" from surviving the abusive relationship I had with an abusive boyfriend, part of what triggered the memories of Dad's belt beating my sister and me to come back. But I thought I'd healed from that. I get the bad feeling that something more has happened, something that I've suppressed in my subconscious.

Fresh tears fill my eyes and I try to wipe them away, but it makes additional tears flow and make me start to cry for real. I grab tissues and just let myself weep for a while before going back to sleep.

* * *

**Roseanne:**

I come early to work and go to the first diner to oversee the morning opening, then head to our offices. Nancy and Anne-Marie are there, so we grab coffee and donuts and talk. We discuss things from accounts, to online orders, to the possibility of expanding overseas. The last part is still very iffy; we still need to see if we can not only afford the place in England, but the employees, their benefits, and the supplies there.

Our employees begin arriving, so we finish our morning break and start work. Jackie comes in along with the employees. As she heads to her cubicle, I notice the slump of her shoulders. "Hey, sis..." I come over.

"Hey..." Jackie says softly. I notice her eyes are downcast, her mouth is drooping, and her brows are pointed upward at the bridge of her nose, which in turn wrinkles the middle of her forehead under her bangs. The trademark Jackie-in-distress signal, I realize.

"What's wrong?" I ask as she hangs up her coat and puts her purse in her desk drawer.

"Nuthin'..." Jackie mutters. She tries to smile, but doesn't succeed and her brows tilt even further up the middle of her forehead.

"Sure something's bugging you or your forehead wouldn't be looking like a stratus cloud sunset," I insist as Jackie sits. I sit on the low stool.

Jackie takes a big breath, lets it out, and runs her hand over her stratus-clouded forehead and through her bangs. She tries to smooth the lines, but can't.

"I had a bad dream last night," she blurts out.

"Oh...scary...was it about our rotten childhood?" I ask softly. Jackie nods.

"Care to talk about it, so your eyebrow muscles don't get sprained?" I ask.

Jackie manages a weak smile. "I guess..." she clears her throat and fiddles with a purple pencil nervously. "It was about our old house...and Dad...he was doing something in another room...and he was then threatening me with that damn belt...then he threatened to kill me if I told something...but I don't know what it was."

I nod sympathetically. When I was younger, I'd had a few bad dreams about our nightmarish childhood. Jackie seems to have relaxed somewhat now, getting it off her chest. Even her brows are back to their horizontal position and the stratus design has faded from her forehead...for now.

"I haven't had dreams like that in a long time..." Jackie continues. "Do you think it's an anniversary reaction from Fisher? It's been twelve years since..." She trails off.

"Possibly," I say. It does seem odd that she stopped having nightmares for a while and is now having them again. From what she says, she's had more than one lately.

"Have you had others like this recently?" I ask.

Jackie nods. "I had one back in December, a few last month and now last night again. I'm worried," Jackie's brows twitch again. "Do you think I should go back to my shrink again?"

"I can't possibly see how it would hurt," I say. "Maybe she could figure out if it's an anniversary reaction or something else."

We sit quietly for a minute, then part slowly and start our day's work for real. As I head to my cubicle, I think about Jackie's nightmare. I really wonder how much she actually remembers. For a long time, she had blocked out most of the memories of Dad's belt beatings. That came to the surface shortly after that she broke up with that ass, Fisher, who'd beaten her, then after Dad died. As I start on the day's ads, I wonder if Jackie will begin to remember the last thing that she'd blocked out...I decide to call Mom later on and see what she says about this.

It isn't until later on in the week that I finally find time to call Mom. I tell her about Jackie's bad dreams. Mom suggest to just listen to what Jackie says about these dreams for now.

"She's finally becoming strong enough to deal with what really happened, but it's still a slow process," she tells me. "For someone as high-strung, jittery, and nervous as Jackie, we don't want to rush things on her."

"That's true," I say, flipping a _Pearl_ magazine around on the kitchen counter and keeping one eye on the pot roast, loose-meat combination I'm heating in the microwave for my dinner that night. "It'd be too bad to undo all those years of therapy she went through."

"I just hope none of her dreams involve Al turning into a weed," Bev adds and we both chuckle some. I'd read about some imagery about dealing with abusive parents and one of the patients had imagined her abusive parents as a long straggly ugly weed. I promise to keep Mom updated and hang up and take my now-done meat out of the microwave, put a movie in my DVD player and start to eat, lounging back on the couch.

* * *

**Jackie:**

I know it's a cold Andy has, so I call in work and tell Roseanne and Nancy, then make plans to stay home with Andy and keep him home from school. I start a fireplace going, make sure Andy has lots of books and the TV and DVD in his room, then read in the living room myself. It's a raw, cold windy day outside and I'm glad to be in here. Andy mostly sleeps, but periodically is awakened by coughing.

Although I know he will be fine in a few days, it's never easy seeing my son sick. I bring him tea and Sudafed every once in a while between reading. He occasionally whines just like I do when I'm sick, but mostly he's quiet and keeps himself either asleep or occupied.

Roseanne calls to ask how Andy is at around noon and I tell her he's hanging in there. As I hang up, my eyes sting a little and I have to rub them a moment. I feel a tickle in my throat also. I keep reading, hoping I don't have to cough, but my eyes sting again and even water a little and my nose feels funny. In fact I feel funny all over...I think I'm getting a cold also. Whine time, I groan to myself, slumping back. I surrender to coughing, lie down, and rub my eyes more.

* * *

**Nancy:**

I call Jackie's mid-afternoon and Jackie answers, but she sounds gritty and a bit stopped up. "I think she's caught her son's cold," I tell Roseanne once I hang up. "Mind if I go over and see if they need help?"

"No..." Roseanne says. "I plan to go over myself in a bit. Hey, let me grab my jacket and we can get going as soon as I let everyone else know." She does, gathers up a pot of loose meat, and we head out. It's cold and very windy with some flurries falling.

"Let's also brace ourselves for a double-whine fest," Roseanne says above the wind as we get into our cars. We laugh, knowing how whiny both Jackie and Andy can get.

We get over there in a few. Jackie's lying on the couch, an afghan pulled around her and she's blowing her nose. I hug her and so does Roseanne.

"Careful...you don't wanna catch..." Jackie coughs several times. "...this cold." Her eyes are watery and she sounds stopped up.

"Come on, let's get you to bed and see if you and Andy want some chicken soup and Advil or something," Roseanne wheedles.

"I still gotta watch Andy..." Jackie whispers.

"Nancy, Mom, and I will for now," Roseanne says as she lifts Jackie up, afghan and all and puts her in her own bed. Despite Jackie's being much heavier now, Roseanne can still lift her up. As Roseanne tends to Jackie, I go check on Andy. He's half-asleep, but wakes up when he sees me.

"Hey, Nance..." he whispers.

"Hey, kiddo..." I smile at him. "Feeling any better?"

"A bit...stuffed nose, sore throat...the usual cold stuff..." Andy smiles weakly, then coughs some. "Mom's been taking good care of me...hey, is she sick too?" I can tell he just heard Jackie cough again.

"Yeah, but she'll be all right and Aunt Roseanne and I will watch out for the two of you," I say, stroking his hair.

* * *

**Beverly:**

I just love looking out for my grandson and little daughter, so I go over the next day to see about Jackie and Andy. They both look exhausted and miserable, so I make them chicken soup and periodically plump their pillows and stroke their hair.

"My, your darling son takes after you so much it's haunting," I tell Jackie.

"Haunting?" Jackie looks startled.

"Oh, don't let that spook you," I say. "I mean it as a compliment. But I must admit that like you, Andy gets spooked very easily. Has he ever been to a shrink?"

"No..." Jackie gulps the last of a pot of soup. "He's sensitive like me, but isn't the neurotic mess I was...well, still am."

"Dear, I just hope he survives middle school without needing a psychiatrist," I say. "You know how merciless middle school boys can be to a son as sensitive as yours and is like you. Let's not forget the miserable adolescence you endured."

Jackie groans and slumps back. "Oh, Mom..." she mutters, then coughs. How well I remember Jackie in her teens...a miserable, timid, neurotic, high-strung, acne-pocked girl with stringy, greasy hair.

"Well, we'll just look out for Andy and hope he doesn't end up the miserable mess you were," I pat Jackie's hand. Jackie blows her nose, then leans back again and closes her eyes. "But then again, despite all your trials and misery and checkered love life, look how well you turned out in spite of yourself."

Jackie's face kind of relaxes into a smile and she snickers some. "Thanks, Mom..." she mutters. Although she doesn't like being reminded of what a mess she used to be, I can see she's also pleased at my mentioning the long way she's come. She truly has. I watch my youngest daughter doze off and think of the long way she's come over the years. I also think of how far my older one has also come.

As if my thoughts have summoned her, Roseanne appears in the doorway. "Mom...how're things?" she asks.

"Fine now that I'm here," I whisper.

"Good, 'caus I just called Darlene and David and they both have the same thing...colds. They're gonna need my help with the kids, so I'm heading over there now."

"Sure...I'll keep watch here. Go on," I say. Roseanne gathers her purse, her brows a bit slanted in worry, and goes.

* * *

**Darlene:**

It's a hairy end of week and weekend. David and I are both sick, so we have to take it easy. Thank God Mom comes over and offers to watch the kids for us, so we can rest. Crystal also comes over several times also. David and I spend the weekend lounging in bed, watching movies on the DVD, some good, some stupid.

Becky calls Saturday evening and on impulse, I pick up since my cell's by my bed. "'L'lo..." I barely creak out.

"Hey...are you feeling all right...Darlene? David?"

I clear my throat and blow my nose and sit up. "Oh, it's me, Darlene," I manage to say in a semi-normal voice.

"You don't sound too good," Becky says. "Cold?"

"Yeah...David and I both landed the ball and chain inside of us," I laugh weakly.

"Oh...dear, I'm sorry you're not well," Becky says. "Do you need me to come down?"

"No...Mom and Crystal are here," I tell her. "Aunt Jackie and Andy are also down with this too...cold and flu season and all."

"Yeah...several people here at my work have it and almost half the kids in Alicia's class have colds...Alicia's been lucky so far."  
We talk a couple of more minutes, then Becky says, "Well, I'll let you get your rest now and I'll call Jackie and Andy too...feel better, Darlene...and hope David does also." We hang up. David comes half-awake and I tell him about Becky's call.

"She must have thought we got a pet frog or somethin'..." David mutters, leaning back and closing his eyes again.

"Yeah..." I nod, lying down again. "I'm surprised I didn't scare her or something." I sigh the best I can through my stopped-up nose. "What a crummy weekend...I hoped I could finish writing that article."

* * *

**Becky:**

I keep in touch all weekend with Aunt Jackie, Andy, Darlene, and David. By the weekends' end, they're no longer bedridden. Alicia has spent the weekend away on a ballet field trip with her ballet class and comes back Sunday night with lots of interesting tales and new ballet words. It's interesting how many ballet words take after the French language. She also ask how my weekend went and I tell her about the colds some of our family had and the new film I'm just starting.

As Alicia gets ready for bed, I talk to Grandma, then Aunt Jackie. At first, I almost don't recognize her voice, but it's her. Although her cold is clearing up, her voice still sounds different, even different from when she was in the throes of illness...it seems deeper and not as husky as it usually is. She asks how Alicia' ballet weekend went and I tell her. I decide not to mention this and tell Jackie to take care and to keep getting well.

After I finish talking to Aunt Jackie, my phone rings and it's one of the actresses in the last film I did. Vicky Montra. She's apprehensive about next month's awards and going out to Hollywood since she's had some bad experiences out there before. We both know how ugly Hollywood politics can get. I promise to stick by her.

"And stick by me...no matter what happens...if any pinheads give us trouble, we know we have this successful production company back here in Chicago," I tell her, borrowing a word my mom sometimes used to use for people who acted like idiots in the entertainment industry.

After I hang up, I realize I feel a bit apprehensive myself. I've never really done anything like this before. The understanding dawns on me that all of us will have to really stick together if we will be sometimes dealing with the Hollywood scene, despite living in Chicago.

As I get ready for bed, I mentally am thankful that film directors and producers have the option of working in independent companies anywhere in the country. I'm also glad that Jackie, Andy, Darlene, and David seem to be getting better and that they had Mom, Nancy, Grandma, and Crystal around.


	6. Oscar Time

**Lanford Days Again**

_By_: CNJ

_PG-13_

**6: Oscar Time**

**Becky:**

"So, we're all just going to be ourselves," I told my brother and sister on the plane to Los Angles in early March. Darlene and DJ nodded.

"So...think we can get by with meat loaf sacks to the awards?" Darlene quips. We laugh.

"I actually wonder..." I say.

We're all rather excited, but also a bit tense. There are a lot of oversized egos in Hollywood, but I figured if we stuck by each other, we'd make it through all right.

* * *

We arrive three minutes early and step out into tepid, dry air. It is neither warm or cold; there seems to be no temperature at all. Quite a change from the still, wet, cold Lanford.

Outside, our hired drivers are waiting for us. As they help us load the luggage, I see a lizard sprinting through the desert shrubs than line the sidewalk. It's a bright red one and very pretty. I only catch a brief look before it hides under a cactus by the entrance to the airport.

The drivers take us to our hotel, which is several miles into downtown Los Angeles. We can't help gaping around at all the city sights.

"Hey, look, isn't that the Hollywood sign?" Darlene asks.

"The back of it, yes..." our driver tells us. Sure enough, if I strain to see, I can see the _H_ and the two _L_'s in _Hollywood_. It's at a distance atop a high mountain.

The city is huge and dazzling, larger than even New York City. There are desert shrubs, cacti, and palm trees all around also. These palms are different from the ones we saw in Florida a long time ago when we went to Disney World. Desert palms, I realize. These palms are much higher and the fronds are shorter, like feather dusters. The ones in Florida were much lower to the ground and their fronds were long and hung down like weeping willows.

We're really here, I thought, feeling my mouth smile as I lean back. I can see Darlene and DJ grinning and peering around at the many desert city sights also.

* * *

**Darlene:**

"...Yeah, yeah, we're all right here..." I tell David over the phone.

"See any movie stars yet?" David quips.

"No, unless you count the lizards and desert shrubs," I say.

I hear a squawk in the background and one of the kids hollering. "Daaaad, Sara's eating my underpants!"

"We're okay on the home front," David says. "We'll be looking out for you all in a few nights on the tube."

I hear a loud squawk this time. "Oh, hey, Sara wants to say hello..." David hands the phone to Sara."

"Hello, Sara..." I say. "Being a good girl?"

"Yaaaa..." Sara says. "Mommy?"

"Yes, it's me." I tell her. "I'm on the trip with your aunt Becky and Uncle DJ, the one I said would be to a big desert out west."

"Desert dry?" Sara queries.

"Yes, it's very dry," I tell her. "It's so dry the lizards love it and there're lots of little dry plants with dry grayish-green leaves."

We chat a bit more, I talk to each of the kids, then to David again before we say good night and hang up.

"David's holding down the forte all right?" Becky asks as she comes out of the bath.

"Yeah..." I tell her.

"I wonder if Mom or Aunt Jackie's popping in on them?" Becky asks.

"Probably." I lean back on the bed, which is wide and comfortable. "Remember all the times Aunt Jackie came over when our parents were away?"

"Yeah, that was always fun," Becky sits on the bed and combs out her straight, thick hair. "She always made us some of the funniest concoctions for meals."

Jackie never was much of a cook, but she tried and with her creative mind came up with dishes we liked anyway...unusual, but good. I think of one time she watched us when Mom was away.

I must have been around twelve or thirteen. It was winter. Dad was working overtime on his drywall business, so Jackie made the meals and kept the home front going with us kids. She'd done a swell job then. I smile as I remember her donning on an apron that first morning and seeing us off to school.

"I better call Lynn and Alicia, make sure they're doing all right," Becky mutters. Lynn is one of Alicia's babysitters and is staying with her this week.

* * *

**DJ:**

"We're in okay...we managed to get a double suite," I tell Aunt Jackie, Lian, and Mom. We're on a speaker call and I'm letting them know we arrived okay. Roseanne and Lian are over at Jackie's for the night.

It takes me by surprise when I hear Aunt Jackie's voice because at first I don't recognize it, but then I realize it's her. Ever since she had that cold a few weeks ago, her voice sounds different...kind of deeper and flatter. I wonder if that change is permanent.

"Elvis's ghost drop in yet?" Mom asks.

"No," I laugh. "But there is a porter here that could pass for Frank Sinatra."

We crack up.

"Hey, Deej, Andy wants to say hello," Jackie tells me. Andy comes on and we talk a bit. Andy asks if I've gotten any autographs yet and if there's been any sand storms.

"No..." I tell him. "It's very calm here."

"Hope you don't have any earthquakes there," Andy worries.

"I don't think that's likely," I tell him. "I'll bring back something for you."

"Thanks."

Jackie and I talk a bit. "Quite a change from the old motor home we went in a long time ago, uhh?" Jackie jokes.

"Yeah..." I say. I was around twelve or so and one time our family took a trip out here with another family. It had been quite an adventure. I remember Mom, Jackie, Dad, and Ty Tilden taking turns driving and Darlene and this other girl Molly banting back and forth. "I wonder what the Tildens are up to now?" I ponder out loud.

"Me too..." Jackie's thoughtful a minute.

"Didn't Ty ask you out or something?" I ask. Vaguely, I remember Ty asking Jackie a million questions and Jackie seeming kind of nervous about it. Jackie had still been recovering from her trauma with Fisher.

"Yeah..." Jackie says. "My throat just went so dry and my stomach felt queasy and sick...it was good thing I was driving so I could keep my hands clamped on the steering wheel to keep them from shaking."

"I thought you handled that well," I say.

"Really...I was just shaking...I was still in the post-traumatic phase from Fisher, so guys really made me nervous."

"Yeah..."

"And Dan and me were arguing over having another baby," Mom put in. "Jackie hadn't even had one baby back then and here Dan and me almost had four of you kids."

We laugh at the memory. We bid each other good night and hang up since my siblings and I are going out for dinner tonight and I have to get ready.

* * *

**Becky:**

"Cheers to us Conner kids..." I say and we clink wine glasses in the Blue Door restaurant later that night.

"Cheers..." Darlene and DJ chime in and we take a sip.

It's a medium fancy restaurant, but the food is very good. The plates are huge, so we get one pasta dish to split between the three of us. Sauces, cheeses, and meat come with it, so we can select what we want out of the dishes and serve ourselves.

I think of the long way all three of us have come over the years as we eat and drink. Growing up on 714 Delaware Street, then me moving out and to Minneapolis with Mark Healy. Mom and Dad hadn't liked Mark back then, so they nearly had a cow at first. I can see why they were so concerned looking back now.

They'd seen the statistics and had worried about me not finishing high school, getting pregnant too soon and having to take some crappy job and being stuck there for years.

I'm really glad I kept using the birth control, stayed in school and also stuck it out through college. I'd had to take a series of scut jobs back then, but it got me through school and I landed a real job as a consultant for film directing in Lanford.

Mark unfortunately couldn't deal with that. He'd wanted to start having kids right away even before we'd gotten our feet on the ground. I had Alicia, which I'm glad I did, but I didn't want a horde of kids just yet. It was around that time that we'd split up.

A year later, I was offered a job directing and so have been living in Chicago ever since.

Darlene had been next and she'd gone directly to college in Chicago and had gone straight through. She'd become pregnant with Risa just as she was finishing and came back to Lanford and she and David had married. They'd lived in the apartment for several years until last December when they bought the 714 Delaware Street house from Mom.

DJ had graduated from high school, went through college part-time while working. He took a few breaks, but after six years, he'd graduated.

"I wonder if ten years ago, any of us suspected we'd be here?" I wonder out loud.

"No." Darlene says. "I always thought you'd wind up in New York City as a fashion designer or lawyer." I smile.

"I always knew you'd be a writer, Darlene," DJ says.

"Me too," I add. "Remember that first poem you wrote and it won?"

"Which one was...?" Darlene seems to be thinking. "I wrote so many as a teenager."

"_To Whom It Concerns_," DJ and I say together.

"Yes, now I remember," Darlene grins. "I didn't even want to go to that awards thing and read it. You know, that age when everything's so embarrassing. Mom nagged me into going and reading it. I remember both Mom and Aunt Jackie bawling over it."

"It was a beautiful poem," I say. "You still have it, right?"

"Yeah...I think it's in several magazines." Darlene sips her wine. "Hey, Deej, it's too bad you didn't have your camera then, you could have taken a picture of us."

"What, of Mom and Jackie crying or of you with a hangdog expression on your face?" DJ says and we laugh.

"With a dress I loaned you," I add.

"Yeah...I always hated dressing up," Darlene puts in. "Every time we had something like a wedding, I'd be ready to die of discomfort and you'd be grinning and loving it." I grin, remembering those times.

"_Congratulations, Crystaaal and Eeed_..." DJ sings and we laugh again recalling Crystal and Grandpa Conner's wedding.

"Remember how plowed Aunt Jackie got?" Darlene asked. "She was soo funny." I nod.

"I'd forgotten that," DJ says. "I remember her trying to stop me from running down the aisle, then my next memory is us congratulating Crystal and Grandpa..."

"And me smacking your head," Darlene adds.

"Yeah..." DJ grins. "And my only other memory of that wedding is Mom and Chuck carrying a passed out Jackie to the car...I thought she was merely sick with the flu or something and didn't know what drunk was."

Our waiter comes back and asks about dessert. We order one chocolate mousse for the three of us and tea.

"I wonder if even Mom and Dad could've eaten this, " Darlene says as the mousse arrives. It's huge.

"Probably," I say as we dig in. Mom and Dad always had huge, healthy appetites. Mom would love this place.

We manage to eat about two-thirds of the mousse, then ask for a tea refill and another tea bag.

"What happened to the other tea bag?" The waiter asks.

"We ate it," Darlene quips.

The waiter looks puzzled a minute, then goes to bring another one. We crack up at the puzzled look, then have fresh tea.

After we pay the check, we walk around a while. It's cooler now at night. I see lots of lizards scuttling about, trying to avoid people.

I never realized lizards could be so many colors. Brown, gray, bright green, dull green, red, blue, bluish-gray, different shades of yellow. I even see some spotted and striped ones. I also see even a glittering one that's really beautiful. I point it out and we watch it a minute before it goes into hiding behind a desert shrub. It's getting late by this time, so we head back to the hotel.

* * *

_Back in Lanford_...

**Roseanne:**

I get straight home from work and empty out the mural supplies on the floor by my bed. I have some ideas to make the mural portable, so I can show it to more people when it's done.

After putting some preliminary pieces together, I call Jackie and we decide to go over to Traditions Antique store over on the other side of Lanford so we can try to find some antiques from that era of some of our ancestors. If we luck out, we could find something from either Poland or Germany from that time also and I can add it to this mural.

Jackie and I finish our work early on Friday afternoon, so we can leave at around noon. We stop about halfway there and have some lunch. Jackie calls Andy since his school is off today. Andy's going over to Crystal's for the afternoon.

The streets around the shop are narrow and small and the shop itself is very small. It's dark and dusty inside, cluttered with antiques. Some of them are beautiful while some look like dusty junk.

Behind the desk, a little old lady peers at us from behind her book. I get the feeling that she doesn't get many customers, so we seem to be the highlight of her day.

I sift around through old jewelry in one bin. There are small post-it type labels with prices and descriptions. Most of them are from the States, but I do see a few pieces from England and France. Some are from the early twentieth century.

Jackie has her head in a huge barrel of garments that look like scarves and other old clothing. "Heyy, look an old dirndl," she tells me, holding up something that looks like a huge aproned jumper.

"A what?" I ask, coming over and feeling it. It feels rough on the edges, but sort of like silk on the surface. "It's jumper..."

"It's a German thing," Jackie says, looking it over. "They call it a dirndl there. Lots of women wear it there. Nancy says they even ride bikes in them."

"I'd think jeans and sweats would be more comfortable than some darn-elled aproned thing," I say. "How'd they keep it from dragging all over the place?"

"It's a traditional German wear," the shop keeper explains from her perch. "Not all, but many women from the country, particularly the Bavarian Alps wear it." She has a light accent that sounds sort of German.

"What era is this from?" I ask.

"It's current," the keeper says. "It's been around for many decades, however. Are you looking for something specific?" She comes on over.

"Yeah, we're looking for something from around the turn of last century from either Poland or Germany," Jackie says.

"European is back here..." she leads us to a sort of anteroom and there are more items back there, including travel bags, little games, and picture frames in addition to the other little odd ends. She heads back to the front and we scour around.

"Hey...look," Jackie whispers. She holds up a little bag with marbles in it.

"_Marbles?_" I laugh.

"Yeah...look what else is in it," Jackie holds open the little bag, which is brown and kind of crinkly. Inside are little pictures of marble games and sculptures. "Hey, I bet this is how a lot of the Ellis Island immigrants wiled away their waiting time while they were being examined and processed and all."

"I guess..."

I'm beginning to see where Jackie is coming from. Her mind is like a wacky twist puzzle, but a lot of the crazy-sounding stuff she comes up with makes sense. We look at it a minute, then go up and ask the clerk about it.

"Oh my yes, many immigrant children played with these...not only on Ellis Island, but after they arrived on the streets of New York," the shop keeper told us. "See, most immigrant families were very poor and could not afford to buy the children toys, and marbles were inexpensive, so that's what they bought to amuse the children. Even Ellis Island officials passed them out to the incoming children to play with."

"Want to go with this for starters?" Jackie asks.

I nod. We really haven't found much else. Perhaps Annika's kids fooled around with something like this all those years ago. We buy the bag and step back out. It's sunny out, so we squint in the sudden bright light. Jackie rubs her eyes a minute when we get to the car and I put on my sunglasses.

"Can you imagine the immigrant kids fooling around with this in the Ellis Island hall and maybe if they fight over whose turn it is or something, their different languages flying all over the place?" I ask with a laugh. Jackie grins at the thought. We decide to grab an afternoon snack, then head home.

* * *

**Jackie:**

I get home shortly after Andy does. It's dinnertime, so he sets the table while I cook a chicken and pea meal. Andy's often quiet to begin with, but tonight, I notice he seems even quieter and appears to be brooding.

I ask how his day went, but he merely says, "Okay..." without elaborating. I leave it at that, figuring if something were really bothering him, he'd tell me.

I worry since he'll be starting middle school next year...I wonder if he'll be able to talk to me as easily as he does now? I wonder what his teenage years will be like. I sure hope he's not as miserable as I had been.

I inwardly try not to remember the acne-ridden, scrawny, flat-chested, awkward mess I'd been. And Roseanne and my home situation with our parents didn't help matters. I remembered how I'd struggled with low self esteem for so many years...and still do sometimes today. I just hope Andy won't have the self esteem problems I sure had.

As we sit and begin to eat, I see tears in Andy's eyes, which he tries to hide by ducking his head.

"Andy...what's the matter, sweetheart?" I ask softly.

"I dunno..." Andy sniffles and wipes his eyes, but the tears fall and I pull him close and give him a hug.

"Did you have a bad day?"

"No..." He quiet a minute, then blurts out, "I don't want to go to middle school next year...I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?" I query gently.

"Of getting beat up by the older kids...of the toilets they stuff sixth-graders' heads into...of nasty teachers...of lockers they told me they stuff sixth-graders into..." Andy cries for a minute and I hand him tissues.

"Who told you about lockers?" I ask, worried.

"Eddie and Angie...they've been through middle school and they know all about it." Andy wipes his eyes and sits back up.

I remember Roseanne teasing me with horror stories about middle and high school also. "Honey, I think Eddie and Angie were just kidding with you...middle school can also be wonderful," I say.

"So it isn't all bad?" Andy asks timidly.

"No, it isn't," I tell him, stroking his hair. "Your aunt Roseanne used to tease me the same way...of course my own adolescence was a mess, but that was an exception...I think you'll be just fine."

Andy's eyes are still full of tears that seem ready to spill over again.

"I know change is very scary, sweetie," I say. "I even still get scared about major changes in my life. But a few years later when you look back, you can say you survived and did it."

Andy looks down and nods. He's a worrier about things like me and is sensitive like me. I used to get scared about so many things and still do.

"You'll be all right, love," I say and we continue eating, reflecting on changes in life and how different people cope with it.

* * *

**Nancy:**

All of us gather around at Jackie's house that Sunday for the Oscars with a full load of popcorn, chicken wings, sodas and beer. The whole thing is over three hours long, so we mostly sit around chatting as we eat.

It seems ages, but finally the independent films are announced. Sorry, but _From Here to Pergola_ doesn't win either of the awards either for best director or best supportive actress. We groan and swear a bit.

"Well, let's hope Becky's not too disappointed," Crystal says.

"This is almost as bad as the elections, " David adds.

"Yeah, but most of the morons are the ones who vote for the winners instead of the candidates themselves," Roseanne says.

"And another good actress from _Upstairs_ should have won," Jackie groans. "I saw that one and she was gooood."

We debate and discuss Hollywood politics for a while and producers, actors and the people who dream up these awards in the first place.

* * *

_Hollywood again_...

**Becky:**

I myself was really not too disappointed about not winning best director and neither was Vicky about not winning best supporting actress. But several of our co-stars I could see were crushed and Sylvia McLean was even crying. I hugged her as we edged out of the Oscar hall.

"Heyyy, hey..." I soothe her as she sobs into my shoulder. "I'm happy we got nominated in the first place...what's the chance of that happening, one in three trillion?"

She manages a small smile as we head out. It seems as if everyone and their mom is there, so we have to hold hands to stay together.

Once we get outside, I suggest we go out to celebrate anyway. Almost everyone is up for the idea. Darlene and DJ had even seemed a bit subdued, but their spirits pick up at dinner.

Looking around, I can see many other film groups feel the same way...they didn't win, but decided to celebrate anyway. We see a few actors we recognize from the other films.

At first, a lot of the people in our group are a bit subdued, but once we get to talking about our next film, spirits pick up considerably.

By the end of the night, we're laughing, toasting, and having a good time. A few of us, including DJ get a bit tipsy and I feel a bit light myself by the end of the night.

"Here's to a great crew and great siblings..." I say, standing. "To all of us..."

"To us..." the others chime in.

"And to siblings everywhere!" DJ adds.

More later!


	7. Matrimonial Delivery

**Lanford Days Again**

_By_: CNJ

_PG-13_

**7: Matrimonial Delivery**

**DJ:**

"...So, we secured the hall," I conclude as Lian and I go down the list of our wedding details. We're getting married in late April, so we have about three and a half more weeks to get the details down. It'll be a small simple wedding with mostly family and our friends.

"Dinner...buffet...easier than having to hire waiters and all," Lian nods.

Our apartment is a mess of papers and wedding decorations. Lian is growing bigger every day; our kid is due in early June. We lean back and I put my hand on Lian's now-huge abdomen. I can feel a faint sliding movement as if the baby is shifting positions in sleep.

Of all the names we've thought up, we've decided on Marvin for a boy and Gabrielle for a girl. Mom'll be pleased with the girl name. We haven't told anyone yet nor do we know what the baby's sex is. It's better because then people can't get a lot of preconceived ideas of what our kid will be like just because of its gender. We'll be happy with one of either sex; we don't care if it's a boy or girl.

We lie there kissing and snuggling for a while, then decide to start with dinner.

* * *

**Roseanne:**

"Finally, we dug up more things in the two other stores," I tell Jackie as we empty out shopping bags in my condo. Andy is at Fred's for the weekend, Patrick and Annalise are both spending the weekend with friends and Marla is out of town on a business trip, so I've invited Jackie and Nancy to dinner.

In one store, Jackie and I found picture frames imported from Poland in the early 1900's.

"I was thinking we could frame some of the ancestor pictures in some of the frames," Jackie says. She trips over one of the bags emptying it, yelps faintly, then finishes emptying it on the floor while her butt is half up in the air. Nancy and I chuckle.

We decide on a huge mixed pasta dish with vegetables and loose meat. I make the meat, Jackie cooks the pasta and drains it while Nancy chops and mixes the veggies...carrots, peas, and cucumbers to name some.

"Almost like old times, only we used to do this at the Lobo," I say as we sit and start eating.

"Yeah...but with beer and pretzels," Jackie puts in.

"And half of the time, one or more of us would have to be carried home," Nancy adds and we laugh, remembering all the times one of us had gotten drunk at the Lobo, especially Jackie.

"It's been so long since I've been there," Jackie says. "Like a year or something."

"We had so many moments of truth at the place..." I say. "And we occasionally still do."

"Yeah..." Jackie sips her wine. "Me and Arnie...Mark and the jukebox...you and Joan..."

"Arnie was such a warthog," Nancy chuckles. "I still marveled that I was married to that guy for almost a year."

"I wonder if Becky remembers about Mark busting the jukebox," I add. "I sure remember meeting Joan there...I was so pissed when I found out that Dad had told her all these lies about us...Jackie, you were so afraid of Joan coming to the house and duking it out with Mom."

"Yeah...I was a wreck, just crying my eyes shut," Jackie recalls. "I was still in denial about Dad and also trying to protect Mom and was just a mess all over."

"So...since all three of us are free tonight, why don't we head over there for an after-dinner snack?" Nancy suggests.

"Great idea..." I say, getting up and clearing away our now-used plates.

"Pretzels and chips for dessert!" Jackie crows.

* * *

**Jackie:**

It's good being at the Lobo again. The three of us grab one of the small round tables and sit. It's changed very little over the years.

"Heyyy, long time no see, Harris sisters and Nancy!" one of the bartenders crows. We wave back, then order our beer and pretzels.

"To us and the Lobo," Nancy says and we clink cans.

The bar is rather crowded, but the tables are sparsely filled. There are only about two passed out people by the bar tonight, which is a low number considering that it's a Saturday night.

Usually on weekends, the bar and lounge is littered with passed out people totally wasted and usually there are a fair number of still-conscious drunk people floating around this place. How well I remember the number of times I've been among the drunk population here.

"This was even the place we celebrated our freedom from Wellman prison," Roseanne sips her beer. Nancy didn't work at Wellman, but she knows the story there.

For many years, Roseanne, Crystal, and I along with several other women worked at Wellman Plastics Factory where we separated various plastic items at low pay. It was tiring, very boring, tedious work and none of us were really happy there.

It had gotten worse when this new boss come on board, a complete asshole who made our lives hell. He put these impossible quotas on us that no one could meet.

Roseanne had tried getting this boss, Faber, to lower the quota, but then he'd demanded that she become more submissive and polite. She tried it for a while, but then Faber reneged in his end of the deal and raised the quotas again.

In protest, every single person in the factory quit, which I think totally stunned Faber. Several years later, Wellman closed down.

"From what you tell me about that Faber guy, he sounds like a mini-Hitler who did a number on you," Nancy chomps a pretzel stick.

"I say..." Roseanne sits back. "I'll never forget when I went into his cubicle to try to negotiate this deal with him to lower the quota...boy, was I young and foolish then...I didn't realize it then, but when he suddenly closed the door and leaned way over me, he was already at work getting to me like a deadly bacteria...I actually felt a flash of fear when he did that...I just absolutely swallowed and agreed to his shitty deal right there just to get out of his office...I left the office feeling like I'd sold myself to the devil."

"And I thought I used to have lousy bosses in the past," Nancy let out her breath.

We sip our beer and talk more over lousy past jobs that we'd suffered through before our Lunch Box/Dinner Pail business took off.

"I lot of my jobs weren't really bad," I say. "Police officer, truck driver..." I tick of some of the good ones I'd had.

"I had a great time in some of Jackie's trucks," Roseanne told us.

"So did I," Nancy adds.

I laugh, remembering how on this one trip Roseanne and I went on, Roseanne had a swell time blowing the horn and trying out various gears on this huge truck I was driving. Roseanne had been really amused at the idea of petite, short me behind the huge wheel of a big eighteen-wheeler.

"I wonder if I'd still be a cop today if I hadn't hurt my back on duty," I say.

"Probably," Nancy says. "But then we might not have had our business."

"True..." I say softly.

I didn't understand this back then, but now I see what people mean when they say that sometimes good things can stem out of bad times.

When I'd herniated a back disk tackling a naked guy on a set of stairs, I'd been forced off active duty and relegated to a desk job, which I didn't want, so I'd quit the force.

To make matters worse, my then-boyfriend, Gary and I broke up. I'd been so devastated I'd cried for several days and was down for several months. I had drifted aimlessly from one dead-end job to another and had lived on disability for almost a year before I went into trucking. Ironically enough, it was becoming depressed, then drunk right here at the Lobo, and accidentally sleeping with the sleazy Arnie that led me to decide on trucking.

We chat and drink for several hours until I'm feeling the familiar tipsiness come over me. Vaguely, I remember Roseanne laughing and lifting me up, saying, "Jackie's re-plowed, so let's have her stay..." and she and Nancy carrying me back to the car and us heading back to Roseanne's place.

"Yuuuup, get the shovel and plows out now," I slur. "I need cleanin', so get the plowwws ouuuut..."

I guess I must have gotten blotto once again, because I don't remember anything more except waking up the next morning in Roseanne's extra room with a thundering hangover. She'd put a pail by my bed, so I could barf in it, then lie back and wait out the hangover.

* * *

**Darlene:**

David, the kids and I are eating when the phone rings. I look at the caller ID and see DJ's number. I answer and try to quiet the kids down.

"Hey, Deej..." I say.

"Hi..." DJ sounds a bit strange. "It's coming early...oh, my God..."

A chicken leg lands beside me and I hear Risa tell Danny, "Ahahahaaa-haahaahaa..."

"Shhhh..." David tells them, waving two napkins in their faces, then he peers over at me in curiosity. _DJ_, I mouth.

"What is?" I go back to DJ.

"Our...baby..." DJ quivers.

"Okay, remember the lamaze class where they told us deep breaths and included the dad..." I tell him. "Do you need me to come up?"

"Yeah...w-will you?" DJ sounds near tears.

"Can you give me about forty minutes?" I ask. "Do you want me to meet you at the hospital?"

"Yeah..." DJ gives me the directions there and also tells me that he managed to get hold of Aunt Jackie, but hasn't been able to reach Roseanne or Becky. He has left messages with them.

"Okay, just sit tight, I'll be there," I say and we hang up.

"What's going on?" David, Risa, and Danny ask simultaneously.

"Waaagoin..." Sara echoes.

"The baby's early..." I tell them. "I think it'll be all right, but I'm going to go up there to make sure."

David says he'll hold down the forte here. I promise to call as soon as I get news. I also call Jackie. David and I tell her that it's all right if she brings Andy over here, then accompanies me to Elgin.

"Well, kids..." I say as I hug each of them after packing an overnight bag. "As of tomorrow, you'll have a new cousin."

"Boy or girl?" Danny asks.

"Nobody knows, dit," Risa tells him.

Jackie arrives with Andy in tow. They hug as she gets ready to leave. "See you later, sweetheart," she tells him.

"'Kay...bye, Mom...don't worry too much." Andy says. He leans close to me and whispers, "See if you can get Mom's brows to relax."

"I'll try..." I laugh. I can see that Jackie's eyebrows are slanted upward at the bridge of her nose. They always do that when she cries or worries, so it's not unusual.

"Thanks, David," Jackie says. "Bye, small fries."

"Stay out of trouble, kids," I say as Jackie and I head out.

* * *

"This so reminds me of when Risa was born," I tell Jackie as we drive up together.

"Yeah..." Jackie nods. "I never told you this because back then you and David were already scared enough, but your mom and I were so frightened we held each other all that night after Risa was born and we weren't sure she'd make it."

Yes, I never will forget Risa being born three months too early and weighing less than a pound and being in that incubator. David and I had wept in each others' arms, sure we'd lose her.

It perhaps was the toughness of the Harris women in our family that enabled my firstborn daughter to hang in there and survive, then thrive into the healthy girl she is today.

"Now when I see Risa, I often feel so relieved she made it," Jackie says. "Let's hope some of the Harris toughness is with this one too."

I can see Jackie's hands shaking, so I reach over and hold them. Jackie grips my one free hand. Since her hands are now holding mine, the shaking transfers to the rest of her body.

"I think this one will be all right," I say. "He or she's only a month and a half or so early...DJ and Lian have even better medical care than David and I did. Relax, Jacks."

Jackie tries to, but her brows slant in worry as she peers out the window.

* * *

**DJ:**

Lian moans as another contraction comes on. I'm so glad I was able to get hold of Darlene and Jackie. They're on their way up now. I sit beside the bed and hold Lian's hand. Lian is kind of smiling, yet a bit tense also. She nearly squashes my hand, then as the contraction eases, she lets out a deep lamaze breath and loosens her grip.

"I just hope this baby isn't as small as Risa was at birth," I say.

"Me too," Lian is trying to lie still, but I can see it's not easy when you're in labor.

The door opens and in walks Dr. Susan Luvante to my relief. She checks Lian over and tells us that she is fully dilated, the baby seems to be at a comfortable weight and is moving fast toward Lian's birth canal.

"My sister and aunt are on their way up; is it all right if they attend?" I ask.

"Sure," Dr. Luvante tells me. "As long as they wear masks and gloves."

I nod.

Darlene and Aunt Jackie arrive.

"Hiii!" I say, so happy to see them that I run over and hug them.

"How's your kid coming along?" Darlene asks.

"Fast," I say nervously.

As if to prove my point, Lian grunts again, then she tenses.

"I think it's almost here!" she manages to say between gritted teeth. "Let this be it...ohhhh, skies of the mamas..."

Dr. Luvante, Jackie, Darlene, and I rush right to the bed.

"Okay, let me adjust the bed..." Dr. Luvante says and moved the bed so the foot is slanted downward for easier delivery.

The next few hours are a blur, but they also seem to go by fast. Lian and Jackie manage to joke around even when the baby's coming right out.

The actual birth is very fast; there's a couple of hours of grunting and groaning from Lian and even a few cries from me, then the next thing any of us are aware of, there is a live newborn baby squalling its head off.

Jackie starts to cry. So do I. This is all so..._profound_.

"Oh, I can't believe I'm a mom..." Lian adds, her own eyes moist.

"Been through three births of my own, was with Becky when she had Alicia...it's still something new and profound every time," Darlene says, her voice damp with emotion.

It's as if time just stands still for the longest...time, and we just all stare at this magnificent new life, this little being that is Lian and my child.

"I...I'm a dad...God..." Fresh tears spill down my face as I hold the squalling baby.

I can see that it's a boy before Dr. Luvante makes the formal _It's a boy_ announcement. She also adds that it appears that he weighs about five or so pounds.

"Hello, Marvin," Darlene says. "I'm your Aunt Darlene."

"I'm your great-aunt Jackie," Jackie wipes tears from her eyes as she peers down at my new son.

Marvin peers up at them, his squalling slowing down. His eyes are so huge and just full of wonder and bewilderment. Lian holds him for a while, introducing herself.

"He's probably totally confused," Lian smiles down at him, then up at us.

"Congratulations," I say, giving her a kiss and a hug.

She leans on me and we gaze at our precious son for a long minute. His squalling has stopped for now and he does look kind of confused and bewildered. It's as if he's wondering what the hell he's all of a sudden doing out in this bright, cool room and where's the warm, dark, cushioned womb. As if he's hunting around for the womb, he burrows his head into Lian's abdomen, I guess hoping for the dark, soft, warmth again.

"Can you blame him?" Jackie manages a shaky laugh. "Andy was the same way when he was born; he couldn't stop hugging my boobs for two weeks after his birth."

* * *

**Becky:**

Mom and I make it to the hospital the next night. My new nephew is as lovely as Lian and DJ said. We take turns cooing over him and talking to him. Alicia's here, so I introduce her to her new cousin.

"He's getting used to the life routine," Mom says.

He sure is. He has dark hair, which isn't surprising, considering both DJ and Lian have dark hair.

"Was I that tiny?" Alicia asks me.

"You sure were," I tell her.

"I think I'm gonna be like Aunt Jackie," Lian says.

"How?" I ask.

"Boob meal at the alter," she says and we laugh.

How well I remember Jackie breast-feeding Andy at her "alter" when she married Fred.

"I just hope you get your boob out in time when he calls for his meal," Mom quips.

Andy had squalled for his feeding just as Jackie was getting ready to head downstairs in the Delaware street house where she'd gotten married and milk had spurted out all over her wedding dress before she could get Andy and put him on her breasts. She'd been already uptight and this almost made her have a full-blown anxiety attack right in the "aisle." Mom and Dad had to calm her down.

Grandma and Nana Mary arrive a bit later and for a while, it's almost like a mini-party until visiting hours end.

* * *

**DJ: **

Marvin still needs a few checkups and a touch of medicine to make his still-developing immune system stronger over the next few days. In between all the procedures, Dr. Luvante lets us hold him frequently since all this must be a shock for our son.

_Welcome to the world, Marvin Conner_, I tell him silently.

* * *

**Roseanne:**

"...So I put the pad in the boob area in case," I tell Lian as Jackie, Nancy, Anne-Marie, Crystal, Becky, and Darlene, and I get ready for the wedding three weeks later.

Lian's mom, Li, is also there. So are Crystal, Becky and Darlene's daughters. Yes, all of us women are gathered in estrogen city before the ceremony. The male half of all of us is probably off down the hall having their own testosterone version of a pre-ceremony gathering.

"Thanks," Lian says.

Little Marvin is now asleep in the nearby crib. We're back in Elgin, this time our whole family...Becky, Darlene, David, Jackie, me, Crystal, Nancy, Anne-Marie, Chuck, Becky and Darlene's kids, Angela and Eddie, and Andy.

Lian and DJ rented a lodgelike place for the wedding and the wedding itself is in the courtyard. It's a lovely rather quaint place on the outskirts of Elgin.

Lian looks gorgeous in her lavender long dress. She's wearing a wreath of lilacs in her straight black hair and also is wearing a purple brooch.

"Woah...I can't believe I'm getting _married_," Lian says, plopping on the bed. "I'm sure DJ can't either."

"Some days, I still can't believe I'm married," Darlene quips and we laugh.

"Me either," Anne-Marie says. "But, honey, it just becomes another been there, done that in your road trip of life."

"One that has all kinds of weird twists and turns," I say.

"And sometimes ending up near a cliff holding on for life," Jackie puts in.

"And you look back and wonder why you made this or that turn back there," Crystal says, waving her blow eye shadow brush and spilling eye shadow on the floor. Her foundation bottle follows suit and leaves a peachish splotch on the rug.

"But once you get there, you realize that half the fun is the actual trip there," Nancy says, leaning back and pulling on her red panty hose that matches her gold dress.

Jackie lays sideways across to keep her from tumbling off the bed on the other side. Her blue long skirt flies upward a bit.

"Thanks...all of you," Lian says.

"You're welcome," the rest of us chime.

It's time to head down to the courtyard, so we quiet down and go. The ceremony itself is beautiful and simple. The weather is swell...flowers all over the place and cool without being cold. I personally think spring's usually the best time to get married.

DJ brings Marvin just in case he gets a hunger attack. He doesn't, but as they say their vows, Lian holds him close just to be sure.

Jackie and I have tears in our eyes by the time the justice pronounces them husband and wife. I can see several others do also. Wow, now all three of my kids have been through the wedding routine. Jackie and I softly wish DJ and Lian as much luck in their marriage as Dan and I had.

More later!


	8. One Book Closes Another One Opens

Good! Finally had time to finish this chapter! I've been so busy, so updating regularly is hard. I squashed the time in this week and managed to get it finished; mainly I wanted to upload this one in honor of Roseanne Barr's fifty-fourth birthday. Happy Birthday, Roseanne Bar!!!

I also want to dedicate this chapter to the memory of the great Shelley Winters, who did a _FANTASTIC_ job portraying the brash, funny, lovable Nana Mary. Great job, Shelley! We all miss you and will never forget you.

So...here's the latest scene in this re-union "movie"...enjoy!

Lanford Days Again

_By_: CNJ

_PG-13_

**8: One Book Closes; Another One Opens**

**Darlene:**

"What a relief for my aching gassed butt," Nana Mary announces after she finishes another plate of potato salad this balmy Mothers' Day.

All of us...Mom, Aunt Jackie, Andy, Grandma, Nana Mary, Becky and DJ and their families are gathered in our backyard along with David, the kids, and me. Chuck and Anne Marie are there also and so are Nancy, Crystal, Leon, and Bonnie. All of us get a chance to coo over Marvin before DJ and Lian put him down for his nap inside.

"If I eat a hot dog, I need to fart," Nana adds. "Potatoes help me do that." We laugh. Nana Mary's still a riot to this day, even in her late eighties. "I've read there's a kind of starch in potatoes that pushes out the air. And it doesn't smell bad either; it smells like hot dogs and a potato."

As if on cue, Risa and Andy both belch. Jackie laughs some and stands up to pour herself more limeade. Amused, I add my own chicken-scented belch, but it's a short soft one. Mom laughs and wolfs down more chicken wings.

This reminds me of the barbecues we had when Dad was alive. We laugh and talk a lot and Bonnie sings, then Mom and Jackie do a funny dance. So do Leon and Nancy.

By the time it grows dark, we're taking turns doing impromptu little performances. Nana Mary does a hilarious number where she belches out the national anthem. She gets most of the notes down, which is remarkable. She finishes with a high hop and one final long deep, rumbling belch, then bows as we laugh and applaud.

It's very late by the time we start to wind down and put the food and trash away. I smile softly and David and I put our arms around each other once we get inside and start bidding everyone good night. Nana Mary is spending the night with Bev, so Bev drives her.

"They should make that Monday after Mothers' Day a national holiday so we get off school and you grown ups get off work," Risa tells us as we go up and get ready for bed.

I laugh. "Not a bad idea, love," I say. "But you and Danny will be off for the summer in another month, so you'll have a break then. Good night," I kiss my daughter as she climbs into bed. On the way down to our bedroom, I also kiss Danny and Sara good night.

* * *

**Jackie:**

A week later, I get home from work and call hello to Andy, who is already home. He's almost ready to graduate from elementary school. He still dreads middle school some, but not as much as he initially did when Ed and Angela gave him that scare.

Andy comes over and gives me a little hug as I head into the kitchen and decide what we should have for dinner. "Chicken potpie or macaroni mix?" I ask me son.

"Chicken potpie," he says. So I make the potpies and we eat. As we're finishing, the phone rings. It's Mom and she sounds strained.

"Mom...?" I ask. "What is it? What's the matter?" My heart begins to beat fast and I feel my hands begin to shake.

"It's Nana Mary...she died this morning in her sleep," Mom gets out, then lets out a rasping sob.

"Ohh..." My eyes fill with tears and for a long moment, I can't speak. Andy sees my tears and immediately he becomes alarmed.

"Jackie?" Mom asks. "Are you there? Are you all right?"

"Yeah...I m-mean no, I'm not..." I begin to cry. So does Andy. I fumble for tissues and hand some to Andy and both of us cry.

"I'm so sorry to break this bad news to you," Mom says softly. She sniffles also. "I know how much you loved her and that you had a special relationship." I whimper, already missing Nana Mary. Deep down, I know she was old and would die sooner or later, but it still comes as a terrible shock.

"D-do y-you need me to p-pass the word on...?" I blubber.

"I'm about to call your sister and tell her," Mom tells me. "Then together we can break the news to the kids and grandkids...Jackie, darling, I can't believe she's gone either..."

"It's -st-still a shock..." I weep.

Mom says a few more consoling things, then after we hang up, I sob out the news about Nana Mary to my son. Andy and I hug each other and cry for a very long time.

As the tears run down my face and I sob along with my son, a brief rueful thought flashes through my mind that this time Auntie Barbara isn't around, so I don't have to go through the disaster to trying to tell her that Nana Mary is dead progressively more loudly.

It also reminds me that I have not had any more nightmares about Dad in a while. I wonder if the nightmares were just an anniversary reaction after all. I try to gather my thoughts and realize that it's up to Mom, Roseanne, and I to plan an appropriate funeral for Nana Mary.

* * *

**Roseanne:**

I still can't believe Nana Mary is gone. But she is. Later that night at Jackie's, I keep my arms around Mom and Jackie and all three of us cry for a very long time. After what seems like five years, we slowly separate, sniffling, sobbing, and taking shaky breaths.

"Someone will have to tell our kids, " I say, blowing my nose. "I'll b-break the news to Darlene and David and their kids and Jackie...c-can you...?"

"I'll...c-call them..." Jackie says, her voice hoarse. "B-Becky...DJ...Lian..." Stray tears spill down Jackie's face as she clears her throat. She struggles to keep her brows from slanting but doesn't succeed. "Nana...and I...had good laughs together...went to the Lobo and h-had b-b-beer..." Jackie's tears are flowing again and she buries her face in another batch of tissues. Bev holds her, her eyes still damp also.

* * *

**Darlene:**

It feels so weird now that Nana Mary's gone. Becky is here with Alicia by the next night. My sister and I hug, weeping for a long time.

We then hear a door open and hear someone ask, "It's true, isn't it?" I turn and see DJ, his dark eyes wide and shocked.

"Yes..." I nod.

DJ's eyes fill with tears, his lips tremble, and his brows slant. I reach out and pull him to us and all three of us break down in each others' arms.

It reminds me of when Dad died. All three of us had clung to each other and just cried and cried for a long while. Mom and Aunt Jackie had also done the same thing.

We know logically Nana Mary was old, in her early nineties, but still it's shocking that she finally went. We also know that we will all miss her so much...her dry, funny sarcastic humor, her loud, funny one-line observations from life. I think Mom gets a lot of the humor from her.

* * *

**Roseanne:**

At the funeral home, this time Jackie and I pick the White Rose casket for Nana Mary. This time we can afford it unlike the time with Dad. I shudder involuntarily as I remember Dan's funeral. Dan had requested cremation, so we hadn't used a casket then.

Tears are still streaking down Jackie's face sporadically. Her brows have been slanted ever since she found out about Nana Mary's death. Poor Jackie, this is so tough on her especially.

I remember how she and Nana Mary used to visit bars together. During Thanksgiving and Christmas, Nana Mary would often stay with Jackie while Dan and I usually either took Mom in or if she drove us too crazy, directed her to a motel.

The casket is beautiful and a beige-white on the outside and sort of silver on the inside. My breath catches as I see Nana Mary's body lying so peacefully there. Jackie also sees it because her tears start again.

"Goodbye, dear Nana..." Jackie weeps. She comes up to the body and keeps crying for a long minute. I stroke her back. "I'll never forget...all the good times...we had...your wisdom and common sense..." Jackie fishes for more tissue from the box she's been carrying around since Nana Mary died.

"Now who will be my post-Thanksgiving bar partner? I'll never forget how you tried to teach me to be tough...if you thought I was crying too much as a kid, which I usually did...crybaby that I am...you always pulled me to my feet and wrestled a bit with me...and Nana Mary, it usually worked..." Jackie blows her nose. "Now I'm crying and you aren't here to wrestle me out of it...because...you're...d-dead..." Jackie cries even harder.

I feel tears run down my own face and Jackie hands me a tissue. "And Roseanne, Mom, and I...will always miss you..." Jackie sobs. She leans on me, crying again. I weep more softly into her thick hair.

* * *

It's under a large shade of trees near the funeral home that we put Nana Mary's body to rest. All of us...the three kids, their kids and spouses and an assortment of neighbors and our friends drop blossoms onto the casket as it's lowered into the ground. It is fitting that most of the trees have white blossoms on them and most of those blossoms are dropping off onto the ground.

It's mostly a secular funeral, but a rabbi does preside over the ceremony and says a short Hebrew prayer after Nana Mary's casket is lowered and we toss dirt over it.

The sun is undecided if it wants to come out from over the clouds or not, but it's bright enough to be considered sunny. In the distance, I see a door to a shedlike supply closet close, then a side door fall open slowly. Like the door to one life closing, I think. I happen to look over at little Marvin in Lian's arms and think about another new life opening.

* * *

**Becky:**

We're back at Aunt Jackie's that night for a sort of post-wake gathering. The crying has trickled down to an occasional tear and once in a great while, a soft chuckle or even a quiet laugh manages to escape one of us over memories of Nana Mary and her hilarious antics.

"I'll never forget when she first met us at the Mother's Day barbecue all those years ago," Anne Marie tells us. "Right off, she says, _I'm not prejudiced_ and Roseanne's whole face just went so beet red."

"I did not," Mom starts to protest.

"Yeah, you did, I remember," I say. "You and Dad were in the kitchen with her and Chuck and Anne Marie and she said that about not being prejudiced and you were grinning at first, but then went totally red. That was one of the rare times I'd ever seen you embarrassed enough to blush."

"Okay, maybe I did...it was so long ago I forgot," Mom cedes with a grin.

"It was thanks to her that I found out that Mom had things in common with me," Jackie puts in. "I was pregnant with Andy and Nana Mary told us about when Mom was pregnant with Roseanne."

"Before I married your father," Grandma adds. "At first, I thought I'd die or go insane because I didn't want anyone to know about it."

"I'll never forget how you ran out of the house, hollering about how no one loved you and all that," Darlene puts in.

"I couldn't believe it at first," Jackie says. "I'd been feeling so sick that morning and I think that bit of news shocked me out of my nauseous fog and by the time we sat down after Roseanne calmed Mom down, I felt almost normal again."

"I thought it was rather odd that Fred was there and it was obvious you were feeling sick that day and had these dark circles under your eyes, but he didn't ask how you were until you started out after Mom along with the rest of us," Mom puts in.

How well I remember that Thanksgiving. Jackie had been attacked by morning sickness and had thrown up that morning and had looked awful. Mark and Dad had been fighting nonstop and I had volunteered to make the turkey to informally thank Mom and Dad for letting Mark and me stay at our old home for a few months.

"So that was what all that fuss was about that time," DJ says. "I remember it being something about when Grandma had Mom and that she hadn't been married at the time, but I never did get why Grandma had such a fit about it and why Mom had to calm her down."

"Back then, all of us were a lot more uptight about little things," Grandma says. "Way back when I was a child, having a baby when you were unmarried was considered a scandal."

"Yeah, you hopped on Jackie's back about her being single at the time," Mom says, sipping tea. "Nana Mary had a swell time shocking Fred with her version of the sex he and Jackie had."

"God, I remember that one!" Jackie manages a weak smile. "Fred stood there staring at Nana Mary, then me in shock and there I was, ready to laugh, but afraid to because I knew I'd throw up again. Fred then goes into the kitchen and asks Dan if this was 'typical' in our family. I'll never forget how Dan just laughed his head off and Fred sat there all scandalized."

Most of manage a soft laugh. Jackie's laugh is still weak and chokes off. Tears come to her eyes and she blinks rapidly as her face gets sad again. Her brows tighten and quiver a bit. Mom puts a hand on Jackie's and they become quiet.

"I don't remember if I ever paid her from that bet we made all those years ago," Darlene says softly. "I don't ever remember how much I ended up owing her...it was some card game or something..." She dissolves into tears and grabs some tissues. I put an arm around her. "I'll miss being her little wise ass..."

"Are you all right, Mom?" Risa comes over and hugs Darlene.

"Yeah...just a bit sad because I miss Nana Mary," Darlene tells her, wiping her eyes.

It's a mostly quiet evening, talkative, but in muted tones. We move around Jackie's house, bringing food over, taking food back to the kitchen, eating, drinking and reminiscing. Mostly we just quietly in our own way, honor Nana Mary and the special person she was in each of our lives.

* * *

**Crystal:**

As my daughter Angela and I get ready for her graduation from middle school, somehow the little shed near the grave where Roseanne and Jackie's grandma was buried comes to my mind. I vividly picture that one door closing and the other opening and as I watch Angela fit her graduation cap over her red hair, I wistfully mull over the aptness of the two doors.

It does seem as if our lives are changing, that one era of many aspects of our lives is ending and another is starting. Right now, my youngest pride and joy is leaving middle school and in the fall, will be entering high school. My baby growing up, I think as Angela and I chat over small things.

Angela has my late husband's small blue eyes, my freckles and fair complexion, and her great-grandmother's red hair.

"Mom...are you home?" Angela asks when I fall silent and thoughtful as I see the young woman my daughter's becoming.

"Wha...oh, yes," I say, taking her hand. "I was just thinking how life changes."

"Yeah..." Angela grows thoughtful also. "You know next week is Andy's turn...from elementary school. I wish him good luck...I just hope Jackie doesn't get too nuts worrying about him."

"Yeah...but I think those two balance each other out," I say. "They're very much alike, you know."

Angela leans close to me and we sit for a long minute, arms wrapped around each other. "Mom...you were married to Lonnie'd dad, right?"

"Yeah..." I say. "It was a long time ago. His name was Sonny and he was a construction worker until he died in an accident. It took me several years to really recover."

Lonnie, my oldest child, is now in his late twenties, is married and lives across town in an apartment and manages a Wal-Mart. His wife, Nicole, works at a Macy's close to there. They don't have kids yet. I don't see them that often, maybe a couple of times a year. If they can get off work, they'll be coming to Angie's graduation in a few days.

"I remember one winter day, I was depressed over a breakup and it brought back memories of Sonny, so Roseanne and Jackie took me to the Lobo to cheer me up and later Roseanne and Dan took me over to the site where Sonny had died...I got a lot out that night. I remember it was snowing, but they were there for me. After that, I was able to move on. It was back when Roseanne, Jackie, and I were all working at the Wellman Factory."

"I have a hard time picturing you at a plastics factory," Angela smiles softly.

"Yeah...it all seems so long ago," I say. "Trust me, I've worked at all sorts of crazy jobs before I started my cosmetics business. I'm glad I hung in there for that."

I like what I do and my business makes very good money, certainly more than I'd ever made at Wellman or any other place.

"Didn't Jackie used to be a policewoman?" Angela asks.

"Yes...for a while," I say, smiling as I remember petite Jackie in her cop uniform with her dark hair pulled into a high ponytail.

She was so serious about that job. I still laugh as I remember one time when Roseanne and I had been working in the beauty salon and Roseanne had been involved in a car accident with none other than Meg Wellman.

Roseanne's injuries had been minor, but she'd had to rest for several days with a pulled neck muscle and sore back. Jackie had been very upset and almost in tears at first, but once she came on duty the next day, had come into the salon all in uniform, questioning everyone in a funny, yet serious businesslike way.

I'd teased her about it and she'd gotten even more uptight and talked about a subpoena and I'd tried to crack her businesslike manner with a comment about me giving her a makeover. I'd inadvertently gone too far with the makeover remark because Jackie had kind of crumpled, her businesslike cop stance had actually dissolved, and she'd sat shakily and had timidly voiced her worries about being plain.

I hadn't really realized how shaky Jackie's self-image really was back then. I'd been afraid that Jackie would cry right there in the salon in her uniform, but fortunately she didn't.

"Why did Jackie leave cophood?" Angela asks.

"She was hurt in the line of duty," I tell her.

By then, Roseanne had been waitressing at Rodbell's Cafe for a couple of months. That was where she'd met Leon and Bonnie. Back then, she and Leon hadn't gotten along at all and were constantly bickering. Leon had been the manager there, but hated that job. Tell the truth, neither were Bonnie and Roseanne, but they'd all needed that income.

"Roseanne says that you used to speak with an Arkansas accent because grandpa was from Arkansas...is that true?" Angela queries.

I laugh a little. "I guess so."

"Wow...I could never tell," Angela says. "Now you speak...I guess like the rest of us here do."

It seems like it, especially since my dad's been long dead for years and I've never been back to Arkansas. I never lived there; I've always lived here in Lanford, but I think my dad's accent influenced my speech. Add to this that my mom was from West Virginia's mountain area.

Angela and I whisper a few more things back and forth for a while as it grows dark outside. The weather is now warm and the trees are budding. The fragrance seeps in through the windows.

* * *

It turns out that Lonnie and Nicole are able to make it to the graduation and my family, including Eddie, Lonnie, Nicole, and me sit on the benches near Roseanne and Jackie's family. Darlene, David, and their three kids are also there.

There's the usual amount of slight bickering among the kids, but finally we get settled down after Jackie wipes away Andy's tears after Eddie "accidentally" steps on his foot and Harris threatens to sit on Danny if he didn't shut up.

I can't help my tears as I watch my daughter collect her middle school diploma and flip her tassel. I hand over my camcorder to Jackie, who keeps recording and wipe my eyes.

At the end of the ceremony, Angela's whole class lets out hollers and whoops as they toss their caps into the air.

"I think I even see somebody's underpants there!" Roseanne crows and laughs. So do I.

"I see a couple of notebooks in the air also," Jackie puts in. She grins ruefully at me and asks,"You're done crying now, Crystal?"

"I hope so...here, give me that," I take the camcorder back. "Let's see how you do with Andy next week." I grin. I am sure Jackie will be a weeping mess at her own son's graduation.

* * *

**Jackie:**

Sure enough, as Crystal predicted, my turn to bawl comes when I watch my dear son graduate from elementary school the following week. I have to hand my camcorder over to Crystal, who keeps shooting away, and grab a handful of tissues.

_Oh_...My throat catches and I try not to sob as I put the tissues over my nose and mouth and try to cry quietly. My beautiful boy, starting middle school in the fall!

He looks a tad frightened as he takes his diploma and I think I see his hands shake a little as the principal shakes his hand. Not that I can see very well through my tears. I gasp a few times, trying to catch my breath. Roseanne, Nancy, and Crystal grin knowingly at me. Mom reaches over and strokes my hand.

I shrug and shake my head, tears still spilling down my face. Emotional me, weeping away. I think I've seen a few other teary parents proud of their kids, but to my embarrassment, I seem to be the one crying the most.

The ceremony itself is very nice and low-key. There is a small gathering on the elementary school lawn after the ceremony with light refreshments.

"Mom..." Andy runs up to me and we hug.

"Congratulations, Andy!" I tell him, tears welling in my eyes again. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks..." Andy seems to cling to me for a long minute.

Roseanne takes several pictures while sipping lemonade and eating a cookie. How she manages to do all three is a mystery to me, but she does so with seemingly little effort.

"You all know, Fred and his wife are here," Mom tells us as she sips some lemonade. "It is a good thing you got away from him, Jackie...they have their two kids with them and those two boys haven't shut up or stopped shoving at each other."

"I can imagine," I say.

"Actually, they're Jennifer's kids," Andy puts in. "They always fight with each other and Dad."

Although I am glad Fred and family made it to the ceremony, I am glad they didn't sit near us. From what I've seen of Andy's older stepbrothers, they do seem competitive and rather out of control. I really don't know the whole story on them, so I say as little as a can.

I only hope Fred and Jennifer are happier together than Fred and I ever were. I am grateful that Jennifer seems to be the wife that I couldn't be to Fred and that his first or third wife couldn't be.

We stand by the table chatting and eating and our conversation drifts toward the Lunch Box/Dinner Pail business.

"It looks as if we now have the budget to make for a try in England," Nancy tells us. Roseanne, Jackie, Anne Marie, Leon, and I head to her car and she pulls a laptop out of her trunk.

Sure enough, according to the latest profits from the past year, we have more than enough to open a place in England. The very idea excites all of us and it runs through us like a Midwest wind in the fall.

"It's now a regular chain with meat running out in factory lines," Nancy says. "Hey..." Her large hazel eyes light up. "Why don't we call the entire enterprise the Meat Factory?"

"Meat Factory..." Roseanne says, trying out the name.

"Sounds good..." I say. "But we'll keep some of our places here under Lunch Box or Dinner Pail, right?"

"Of course," Nancy nods as she closes the computer down, puts the laptop back into her trunk and locks it. "The Meat Factory can be our overhead name."

We're all in a clatter over this newest expansion and decide on what we'll do to head out there over the summer to open the newest place. With the new changes going on now in our lives, it is not surprising that our business is also changing.

More later!


End file.
